On My Own

This post is dedicated to one of my very best friends, Jenn. You'll learn to love living on your own as a single girl. I promise. And on those days when you're hating it, call me.

The day I realized I was going to be on my own again, I was afraid. I'm going to be lonely, I'm going to hate it, I thought. Who am I going to talk to? I'm going to become a crazy cat lady who's 80 years old with no one that loves her. Oh, have I not mentioned I'm dramatic?

But you know what? I actually like living by myself. Scratch that. I love it. I have appreciated doing the things that make me happy, and me alone. Not thinking for anyone else.

Now don't get me wrong. There are days when loneliness kicks in. I don't have a date lined up every night. But usually on those nights when I don't have a happy hour with friends, a night out on the town, or a night in with a date scheduled, I have plenty of things to keep me busy. I mean why else have I been recording every season of Project Runway on my DVR? And why else did I buy the entire series of Sex & the City on DVD? I turn on the boob tube, catch up on reruns and open a bag of honey wheat pretzels. And like I was telling a very unconvinced Jenn, those nights are few and far between. By the time they roll around, I want a night to myself.

To further convince her that the single life is oh so fabulous, I decided to put together a list of all the things I have done by myself in the last two months. Some things I could have done with a man by my side but didn't and some things I never would have done while in a relationship. But damn I'm glad I did!

1. Went to see a movie. This may not seem like a big deal to anyone else, but it's saying something for me. I would never have went out alone before. I'm more confident now than ever, and I'm proud of myself for it.
   
2. Went out to dinner. Table for one.
   
3. Saw 2 art exhibits. Art is something I love and when I was in a relationship I didn't pursue that love. Now I have time to!
   
4. Read 7 books. Mostly on dating. Gotta get back in the game somehow!
   
5. Travelled to California! On a plane, by myself, for the first time ever.
   
6. Took a bubble bath. For the first time in years. OK, so this may be one that would have been more fun with a man by my side! But I'll take my glass of wine for now.
   
7. Bought strawberry Propel. I had been convinced this flavor wasn't any good. It's my new favorite.
   
8. Reconnected with several old friends and met a few new ones. I vow in my next relationship to not lose touch in the first place. There's nothing more important than having people that care about you in your life at all times. And I have a feeling that my new friendships are going to turn into life-long ones. What a great feeling.
   
9. Fixed my dryer. Laugh at me. Come on get it out. But before I would have called a guy friend to fix it for me. Or made my dad drive 4 hours. What can I say? I'm a daddy's girl.
   
10. Planned vacations! Now that I'm not afraid of flying, what better way to spend my time than to visit new places? In the works so far: a girls-only sleepover weekend in Pittsburgh this month, a special Californian comes to Ohio in February or March, a crazy gambling/drunk weekend in Vegas in April, and a meeting of the minds in New York City in May (Blog Con '08)!

So guys you have to help me out - those of you who are single living on your own and those of you who have been there at some point (that moment you finally moved out of your parents' house on your own). Help me convince Jenn it'll be OK. For some reason she's not believing me!

Rollin' With My Homies

Doesn't that make you want to pop in your Clueless VHS?

My blogroll was getting ridiculously long so I decided to move it to its own page instead. If you have me linked and want me to add you email me!

Also email me if I made a typo, your link doesn't work, or if you want to be listed differently. I am to lazy don't have time to check all of these. ;)


Real Life Friends Who Blog:
Sarah
Rachel
Christa
Katyn
Josh
Kari
Swaaaan
Rachel

It All Started With These Lovely Ladies:
(These were the first blogs I started reading because of Blogher.org)
Ashley
Blogging Barbie
Cindy
Clink
KLC
Libby
Lisa
Molly
Princess Pointful

Everyone Else I Adore:
*kb*
100 Different Things
Alissa
All Mod Cons
Alynda
Amanda
Amy
Amy
Ana
Andrea
Angela
Angela
Anna
Annie
A.P.
Ashley
Ashley
Ashlie
Brandy
Brookem
Brooklyn Boy
Cady
Caitlyn
Cecile
Chasing Paradise
Chelsea
Courtney
Courtney
Daddy Dan
Damsel in Digress
DCR Blogs
Deutlich
DG
Distracted Spunk
Dooce
DreamGrrl
Each of the Two
Elisabeth
Elise
Elise
Erin
Eve
Ex-Everything
Eyes As Windows
GenPink
Hazel
Heidi
Heidikins
Hope
Jamie
Janet
Jenni
Jennie
Jennifer
Jenson
Jess
JMC
Joanne
Julie
Julie
July Bug
Karen
Kate
Katelin
Katie
Katie
Kristen
Lacey
Larissa
Laurel
LB
Le Petit Chic
Lil Irish Lass
Little Spoon
Liz
Margarita
Marvellous Mouse Designs
Maxie
McGee
Michelle
Might I Add?
Miriam
Miss A.
Momma K
Mrs. Twink
Nicole
Nicole
Nilsa
NPW
NWO
One Big Holiday
Passionista
Pessimistic Redhead
Peter De Wolf
Princess Extraordinaire
Queen Bee
Recovering Overachiever
Red
Roselia
Samantha
Sara
Sarah
Sarah
Sass
Scotty
Spring
Starting Over @ 24
Stephanie
Stephanie
Susie
Sweet Escapes
Tara
TBF Love
The Casual Perfectionist
The Lisa Show
The Misadventures of K
The New Fanny
Tiff
Tina
Trish Ryan
Underpaid Princess
Valerie
Valley Girl
Virginia
Wendy
Yoda
Zandria

A Shameless Plug

The lovely Lisa selected me for Featured Blogger of the Week on the Twenty Something Bloggers site! Thanks for the nomination! In case there are any new readers stopping by (hi!) and since 2007 is approaching its end (thank goodness) I decided to do a [sort of] year end review.

I started blogging back in February of this year and to be blunt - my posts sucked. I didn't really understand what blogging was all about or what people would actually want to read. They were a jumbled mess of ideas, stresses, and hour by hour accounts of my day.

I found the BlogHer site over the summer and began reading blogs by other twenty-somethings that were really interesting. I figured out that your posts have to have a point. One cohesive idea that brings it all together. The first few posts I wrote after that I was actually proud of (Going Up? and Spawn of Satan). From there ideas came easy. Not every day of course, sometimes I had bloggers' block, but for the most part I was catching on. I have always loved writing and I finally was beginning to feel my style breaking free.

Then my life took a nosedive in October. But the support I received from my blogging friends was AMAZING! I never expected anything like that in a million years. I was bombarded with emails, phone calls and care packages every day. A smile was back on my face after days of tears. It was the best feeling in the world.

I was finally able to move on after a night of pure craziness, that's the way it works right? And I moved into my new condo that same weekend.

Thrown back into the dating world, I decided to make the best of it. My first attempt was a let down. I never thought I'd have to tell someone "I'm just not that into you", but I suppose it's inevitable. Then there's FF, the guy who swept me off my feet so to speak. It's always the unattainable ones that make your heart flutter isn't it? He still has me by a few [very thin] strings, but I'm onto him and his Delete Radar capabilities.

Then there's GQ. The one that makes me feel 15 again. He's still in the picture too. We'll see where it all goes. Isn't my dating life so exciting? Ha. Trust me... "the grass is always greener." I'd love to be married like some of you, and have a guaranteed snuggle buddy to spoon with every night. If you only knew.

My last adventure was the best of all. I set foot on a plane for the very first time in my life! I flew cross country to California and met my fabulous IBFF (internet best friend forever) Sarah. We had some crazy times and I am so glad I took the trip. I needed to get away from it all and hell- I deserved it after all the crap I'd been through with The Ex!

Overall, 2007 was a rough year for me BUT I began this blog which led me to all of you, so it can't be all bad right? Let's stay friends, ok?

Here's to a better, more fabulous 2008! Meeting new bloggers, finding the man of my dreams and living happily ever after! What do you say?

p.s. New Year's Resolutions to come next week :)

My Ah-Ha Moment

(Note: This actually happened a little over a week ago, but I wasn't ready to post it yet. Seemed a little too dismal before the holidays.)

"Wow," I said out loud to myself after reading those two paragraphs for what seemed like the hundredth time. It all made sense now. They say hindsight is 20/20, but I've never seen anything so clear in all my life.

---

When your family embraces the myth that they have no problems, it can lead to your engaging in emotional reasoning when you're an adult. You are so used to dismissing problems or glossing them over that you may feel you're in a terrific relationship, and experience shock when it becomes undeniably clear that your relationship isn't so terrific after all -- it's just that you've been engaging in wishful thinking and denying very real problems.

You may also develop the habit of repressing your difficult feelings and expressing your anger and fear indirectly rather than confronting them and opening yourself up to the risk that your partner will end the relationship. The fear of bringing your problems out in the light of day makes you pretend everything is just fine, and remain in a relationship that isn't working. You may feel you have to say, "I love you" and kiss and make up quickly, even after you have been deeply hurt. (Excerpt from All the Good Ones Aren't Taken by Dr. Debbie Magids)

---

I've had similar thoughts. Beat around the bush about why I am the way I am in serious relationships. But these two paragraphs couldn't have been more to the point. Succinct. Blunt. Everything I've been trying not to be since the breakup.

Since I was very young I picked up on the "We're One Big Happy Family" façade my family tried to portray. Even though my parents divorced a little over 5 years ago, it was obvious (to me and everyone else in the family) that they should have long before that. But I bet no one outside of our family knew that. Not even my closest friends because at that point in my life I closed myself off emotionally to everyone. That was how my family worked. My mother and I would have a huge fight; door slamming, cursing, the whole bit, but the next day we would act like nothing happened even though deep down neither of us felt any better.

Everything in my family was on the surface. Our conversations would be about how we were doing in school, what TV shows we were watching, what music we liked, what friends we were hanging out with that weekend. They were never about anything deeper. We never said "I love you". I knew my parents loved me. I had (and have) no doubt. But we were emotionally closed off from each other because we were constantly hiding real problems. There was even one huge family secret that was so deeply hidden I only found out from a family friend a mere three years ago (and it happened back in the 80s)!

After reading the excerpt above I realized how that has affected my love life. Even though I have long since abandoned my "on the surface" attitude when it comes to personal relationships, I now know that some of the more hindering tendencies have yet to disappear.

With The Ex I should have seen the end coming. He gave me all the signs. But I did what my family does best. Pretend it's not really happening and pray it will go away. (See one year anniversary post written a mere 4 weeks before the breakup. Reading that would you guess we had any problems? Probably not.) But what inevitably happens when you don't confront those problems right away? They grow and grow to the point where they are irreparable and blow up in your face. Hence why I have three failed long-term relationships under my belt.

Now I'm not turning around and blaming all my relationship blunders on myself. Hell, I can't take all the credit! There were things that The Ex did to lead the relationship to its demise. I'm just glad I've recognized my part, so I don't have a repeat performance anytime soon.

What I will change:
I will not gloss over any real problems. Even something that seems small, if gone unmentioned can lead to resentment down the road. If my feelings are hurt, I will wait for an apology instead of letting it slide. I deserve that at the very least. Those gut feelings? I'm going to start listening to them. They're usually right on the money. And most importantly, I will listen to my partner and not shrug off his lackadaisical attitude toward our relationship to "stress at work". Bringing up real issues may lead to the other person walking away, but I would rather take the risk in future relationships than be constantly worried things will never change.

Here's to finding someone who has the same attitude towards relationships. Forming a real, emotional bond with the person you love, and being able to tell each other anything without fear that the other will leave. I know he's out there.

Do You Eat Like A Fifth Grader?

I do. And the girls at work make fun of me for it. But you know what? I think I'll make some kick-ass lunches for my kids when I'm a mom :)



A typical lunch:
Peanut butter & jelly (or fluff) sandwich
Yogurt (low fat!)
A Little Debbie's product (brownie or ho-ho usually)
Lunch-size bag of chips
Water
Candy for a late snack (optional)

What do you do that keeps you a kid at heart?

Happy Holidays From Margot & Holly

Holly, sitting under the tree last Christmas (she was my present).


Margot on her first Christmas 2 years ago.


p.s. It's snowing here!! Looks like it's going to be a white Christmas!

Home For The Holidays

Today after work I'll be making the 4 hour drive home to Erie, Pennsylvania. The city where I was born and raised, smack dab in the middle of the snow belt. Remind me why again? Oh right it's Christmas weekend. Despite my ho-hum attitude towards the holidays this year, I really am excited to see my family and friends.

This will be my first Christmas in TEN YEARS that I've spent without a significant other by my side. It's going to be strange to say the least. But for once I'm not worried about whose family we're going to see which day and for how long, and ultimately who we're going to piss off. I get to be selfish and spend the whole 4 day weekend doing what I want to do.

I'll be staying at my dad's house. This is always a huge debate since the divorce. I always feel like I'm choosing sides or something. But my dad's house is the house I lived in from 8th grade through college and feels the most like home. My room is still painted the same lilac purple with navy stripes along the top of the wall. My canvases and drawing boards shoved under the bed. Sketch books and unfinished paintings in the closet. It's like being back in high school again. Like I never left.

Except at the end of the hall the room that used to be my parents' no longer houses my mom's abundant wardrobe and numerous perfumes. My stepmom lives there now and seeing her always brings me from my high school mind set back to reality. My brother won't be doing pull-ups on the bar hung in his doorway across the hall. I won't hear him grumbling when the alarm goes off. My stepsister (and probably her on again off again boyfriend) sleeps there during the holidays. Don't get me wrong, I love the new members of my family. It's just strange that there isn't a place that feels completely like home anymore. There are reminders around every corner that life has changed.

Sometimes I wish I could go back to Christmases past, especially ones when my grandfather was still alive.


My nose is a little beat up in this picture. I was 3 and apparently attempted to carry my favorite chair down the stairs on Christmas Eve, only to tumble to the bottom, chair first.

I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday weekend. Enjoy the time off of work, time spent with family from out of town, time reuniting with friends normally scattered across the country that will be home to celebrate, time recognizing how wonderful it is to be surrounded by people that love you. I know I will.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas To Me

Because I know Santa's not making a stop at my house this year...


The Sex & the City DVD boxed set (seasons 1-6)

What are you treating yourself to?

What's Your Beef Wednesday

I'm bringing back the What's Your Beef Wednesday tradition. Mainly because I have things I want to bitch about. You do too, right?

• Cheating Bastards. Especially cheating bastards that hurt friends of mine. Not cool. You know you're going to eventually get caught don't you? Seriously when did men start to suck so much? (Oh wait...you can read the answer to that in The Men Suck Edition of my What's Your Beef Wednesday posts)
  
• People with no dignity. Kari and I were finishing our Christmas shopping last night and we passed a guy digging in his nose right out in the open! Like in public where literally everyone walking down that aisle could see. Do you have no shame? Gross.
  
• Texting instead of Conversing. Maybe I should take a lesson from obsessive texters considering my phone bill last month, but this really bugs me. If you want to talk to me please call. (Flirty texts are completely acceptable of course.) This isn't just a guy thing, it goes for friends too. Have a quick question? OK, texting is fine. But if we go back and forth for more than 10 or 15 minutes don't be surprised if I go ahead and dial your number. I'm sure a 15 minute text conversation would be about a 2 minute phone conversation.
  
• Getting the last of the peanut butter out of the jar. This goes for fluff too. Why do I always buy the largest container they have? I feel like it's a waste if I don't get every last little bit of peanut buttery goodness yet I always manage to get some on my hands. And yes, I use a knife.
  
• Christmas music. Maybe I'm a scrooge but I can't take it anymore. I change the station every time a Christmas song comes on the radio. Even my favorite country station plays at least one an hour if not more. Bah humbug.
  
• My cat, Holly. Lately she has been driving me nuts! Monday night GQ and I watched as she hang glided on the curtains in the living room. While he found it funny, I was thinking about the holes that were slowly being created and the new curtains I am eventually going to have to buy. Oh and rugs too because apparently the scratching post I got for you isn't good enough. How about you keep your claws to yourself missy?!

So tell me - what's been getting on your nerves?

Time Warp

Hands clasped, one largely disproportionate to the other (both freezing).
Legs elevated, entwined.
Head resting gently on shoulder, just barely reaching.
Bodies close to keep warm.
Silence, although not the awkward kind.

Is this what it's like to feel 15 again?

The silence is broken, tickling has ensued.
Laughter fills the air.
Begrudgingly, a truce is made.
Sealed with a kiss.

Yes, I'm definitely 15 again.

Love And Hate

Love: My surprise date with GQ on Friday night. Seriously how great is he? After the horrible day I had I couldn't have asked for a better way to end my evening. He took me to see the Christmas light show at the local zoo. Holding hands, snuggling to keep warm, making fun of my love of manatees as a kid (he even offered to replace the earrings I used to have when he saw some in the gift shop!), and sharing a kiss while looking out over the pond. So romantic.
Hate: That I'm still a little hesitant to start a relationship with him, even though he's damn near perfect. What if I'm not ready yet, but don't want to let go of such a catch?!

Love: Nearly finished my Christmas shopping today with Kari. I was getting a little nervous, it's NEXT WEEK!
Hate: Burning my tongue on my hot apple cider we got at Cup O Joes.

Love: Frosted pumpkin cookies from Cheryl's Cookies.
Hate: It seems like all weekend I have consumed nothing but junk!

Love: Flirty texts from FF.
Hate: That it's been 5 days since I saw him last.

Love: My work holiday party last Thursday was a huge success. We had a band play (The Menus) and I designed souvenir t-shirts that everyone loved. We even had glow necklaces and straws to add to the concert feel of the evening. I have never seen so many attorneys let loose!
Hate: They cut us off from the hard stuff at 6:00! At least there was still wine.

Love: Getting Christmas cards in the mail from friends and family.
Hate: That I was too lazy and Scrooge-like this year to send out any of my own.

Love: How much blogging has helped me get all my thoughts out in the open since the breakup. I can look back and see how far I've come.
Hate: That I haven't had the motivation lately to blog. I can't pinpoint why.

Love: My friends Sarah & Anna talking me down off of the emotional ledge that was Friday afternoon.
Hate: That I let him get to me. That I let thoughts of him ever come back into my mind. That I picked up that damn phone. It's OVER Michelle, he's moved on. So should you.

The OC Experience :: Part Two

Part One if you missed it.

And I apologize for the length of this post in advance. Normally, I keep them a reasonable length, but I didn't want to forget anything about my trip!

SATURDAY NIGHT
Where did we leave off? Oh yes, we were watching European condom commercials. YouTube videos weren't all we squeezed into our Saturday night. I had been told about this place called The Goat on several occasions. That night I got to check it out in person and holy shit did we have a fabulous time. Sarah, Swaaaan and I met up with a few of their friends to get our drink on. Normally I'm a cranberry vodka kind of girl. No beer for me. Liquor is my friend. But Sarah and Swaaaan swear by the bar's pear cider, so I gave up my usual to try something new. Yeah so worth it.

We moved to the smoking area because "we only smoke when we drink, we only drink now and then, now and then when we're tired of being let down by men." It was pretty hilarious because California has the no smoking in public places law, same as Ohio. However this part of the bar was basically still joined to the rest of the place but covered by a porch like contraption (therefore it was technically "outside" - way to find loop holes). And this contraption leaked. All over our booth. Literally a stream of water started running like a river onto our table. So much for finishing that cigarette...

We spent the night chatting. Talking with the girls about love, heartbreak, hott "midwestern" boys that were playing shuffleboard, stalkers, random text messages, boys that can't make up their minds, and then laughing about how hypocritical I was considering I'm "dating" two guys at the same time and can't make up my own mind (well at least they have the same name right?). Talking with the guys about wrestling, politics, space, and that "really guys don't only talk sports - we swear".

I managed to not spend a single dime the entire night. Not that plenty of alcohol wasn't consumed. Trays of shots were making their way over to us far too often. Pitchers of pear cider were drained. Photos were taken with my camera that I don't remember. Ladies and gentlemen, we were hammered*.



Two o'clock rolled around and we were stalling at the bar. Swaaaan was "catching up" with an old friend and we weren't quite ready to leave. After obscenities were shouted into the loudspeaker we decided it was time to go. On our way out I was stopped by a guy I had seen earlier in the night. One that tried to pick me up, but thankfully R & P had managed to get me out of the situation. This time he approached me and put his hat on my head and then his sunglasses. Alright, so we may have taken a picture for proof of what this p-i-m-p made me wear. I looked thrilled right?



On the way to the car, Sarah managed to score us a cigarette. As I'm smoking, Swaaaan finds it appropriate to tackle me from behind to get the cancer stick away from me. Not because she was concerned for my health. No, she wanted it all to herself. This led to an all-out girl brawl in the middle of the parking lot. Arms flailing, laughter and butt smacking (my butt not hers).

The night ended with Sarah's roommate making us all mac & cheese, watching Eddie Izzard and drinking wine. Fun doesn't even begin to cover it.

SUNDAY
Slightly hungover + incredibly starving = greasy food from Ihop. And what a meal it was. I'm drooling just looking at the picture.



Over the course of the weekend I had become obsessed with palm trees. How many different kinds there were, how gorgeous some of them were, I even missed cute guys Sarah would point out as we were driving because I was oogling at them. So when we walked out of Ihop it was only natural that I was itching for a photo shoot with my new obsession.



Hollywood Boulevard was the next stop on the tour of California. We hadn't done much sightseeing, so I decided this was the one place I had to see before I left. Walking up and down the street I was busy observing. So many people were milling around, the movie premier of P.S. I Love You was taking place that day so there was a lot going on. Several costumed characters made appearances including the Cat and the Hat, the oldest Cinderella I have ever seen, Snoopy and more. Spongebob Squarepants was there as well and decided to hit on me even though tons of kids were around. Is it bad that I considered running away with him? I mean Spongebob is so damn cute.



My plane left at 6 so our last stop was to grab a bite to eat. I was told that I had to have an In and Out burger. For fast food it was pretty damn good. But what's up with the employees wearing diaper pins on their butts? I tried to get a picture, but didn't want to offend anyone.



COLUMBUS BOUND
I was definitely sad to leave California and head back to the chilling Columbus weather. I'm thinking Sarah didn't want me to leave either because we got lost on the way to the airport and I made it with only 1/2 an hour to spare before I had to catch my flight. We hugged goodbye and I dashed (literally) to my gate. The return flight wasn't too bad. I managed to catch a lot of z's. However, a certain passenger was keeping me from my slumber at the beginning of the flight.

On Skybus you are able to choose your seats (it's first come first serve seating), so when I scored a window seat in an empty aisle I was excited. But then someone took the aisle seat in my row. I look over and he's rather attractive, so I decide it's OK. He asks if I'm from Columbus or California. I told him Columbus. He's a student at OSU, so we proceeded with chitchatting about local bars, sites, etc. When we landed he asked to be my Facebook friend. I had to laugh, because what a world we live in now. Instead of exchanging numbers it's here's my name, find me on the internet. I haven't decided if I will yet or not. He's 22 but in boy years that's about 12.

After a rough landing due to fog I was SO ready to get off the plane. I turned on my phone and was greeted with 2 texts and a voicemail from FF wanting to get together. Our "relationship" has been so casual I hadn't even told him I was in California. Let's just say I cashed in my raincheck last night. Which could be the reason for my delayed post (sorry Swaaaan).

I LOVE California and can't wait to go back! I'll leave you with some more palm tree pictures. And how cool is it that there was a Michelle street?!



*DISCLAIMER: Michelle is normally not a smoking, boy-crazy lush. She was on vacation!

The OC Experience :: Part One

To sum up this weekend: California was a BLAST. Oh you want more details? OK, OK ;)

FRIDAY
The anticipation at the airport was high. GQ (C4 just wasn't working so Sarah and I came up with this nickname over the weekend) waited with me until I had to go through security. Kept telling me I would be fine and not to worry (and we may have shared a picture-perfect airport goodbye kiss). After all was said and done I think I was the most anxious before I even set foot on the plane! Take off and landing were sort of exciting and seeing both Columbus and Burbank lit up through the clouds was one of the coolest things I've experienced.

The flight was long, 5 1/2 hours due to strong headwinds. And on top of that we had a 2 hour delay so our original arrival time at Burbank airport of 5 p.m. ended up being 8. I exited the airport to find Sarah waiting for me, and of course had a SQUEE! moment. I thought I would be nervous meeting her for the first time, but it was more like reuniting with a long time friend. Hugs, laughter, making fun of me for overpacking and of course the palm tree discussion. They reminded me of something a little on the hairy side, but later in the trip my view was swayed. I may even be obsessed.

After landing, I had a voicemail from my high school friend Nate saying he knew I was flying in that night but couldn't remember when. He was having a small get together at his apartment and invited us over. We made the trip to Hollywood for a night of Superbad, burned popcorn, microwaved metal bowls, WINE and snakes. Yes, snakes. Normally I hate snakes but this one was sitting in his roommate's lap like a domesticated animal. Sort of adorable. Well, as adorable as a snake can be I guess. It was so good to see Nate, and we parted ways knowing we'd see each other again at Christmastime.

SATURDAY
Sarah and I had ourselves a morning of pampering at Rosey Toes, a nail salon on Balboa Island. Manicures, pedicures and girl talk. I wish I would have taken a picture of the inside of the shop. It was decked out in pink and black, and I swear in miniature it would have made a perfect Barbie house.



We made our way to Laguna Beach for lunch, but not without visiting "The Hills". I was amazed at how the houses are stacked one on top of the other. The road seemed to go on forever but the view at the top was breathtaking. I know what you're thinking, they're just mountains right? Cut me some slack - Ohio is one FLAT state.



Lunch was delicious. BBQ chicken pizza from BJ's and a cookies & cream pazookie (a cookie baked in a pizza pan). TO. DIE. FOR. Let's just say it was devoured in no time flat.



What is a vacation without shopping right? Shoes, sweaters, purses, new winter coats. Yeah, it was heaven. A few hundred dollars and tons of new clothes later, we decided we had worked up an appetite. Sarah's long time friend, Swaaaan met up with us for dinner at Island's (I'd just like to cut in here and say she is freakin hilarious and I'm so glad we met!). They have the biggest burgers I've ever seen. We knew we had to eat up because we had a long night of drinking ahead.



With our stomachs full and some time to waste before our bar escapades began - we laughed our asses off to some YouTube videos. Condom commercials in Europe are hilarious.

Tomorrow I will post Part Two! (Look forward to palm tree groping, drunk girl fights over cigarettes, Michelle as a pimp and my fling with Spongebob Squarepants - GOOD TIMES, GOOD TIMES.)

I Made It Back In One Piece

Hey guys! It's three in the morning right now and I JUST got home. Still a little hyper from the flight, I may have a hard time falling asleep tonight (and I have to be up in 4 hours for work!). Just a few highlights:

-I had a WONDERFUL time
-Flying is actually pretty THRILLING
-FF must have missed me, had 2 texts and a voicemail when I landed ;)
-Met a cute boy on the plane. He wants to be Facebook friends.
-Will be catching up on all your blogs this week, missed you guys!

More detailed vacation posts to come - with pictures of course! Happy Monday!!

California Dreamin' On Such A Winter's Day

Woke up to this:



Hoping my flight isn't cancelled/delayed!! (Guess who's taking me to the airport? Yeah, I think he likes me.)

I will be spending my weekend in California with THIS FABULOUS GIRL:

1. to try to erase this day from my mind forever.
   
2. to verify that she is just that fabulous.
   
3. to see my long-time friend, Nate (he's the one on the bottom right).
   
4. to go out, dance with boys and have an all around good time!
   
5. to shop, get mani/pedis and sightsee too of course!

Stay warm my fellow midwesterners. I'll be back Monday to tell you all about it.

Oh, and did I mention this is my first time flying EVER? I may just pass out...

The Post That Has Been Avoided For Far Too Long

I know a few of you have caught on to my [maybe not so] subtle hints and it's only fair to dish (a little).

Since the breakup I have managed to bring my confidence level back up to where it should be. Probably higher than it's ever been. I'm not trying to be cocky in saying that, it's just that my entire life I have never had high self esteem. No one I have dated has made me feel confident about myself. In fact, most of the time I felt insecure. Afraid they were going to leave me. When I was thrown back out into the dating world I was pretty damn nervous. Let's just say it didn't take long for my self esteem to be restored.

At first there was FF. A fling. And a fun one at that. But he just doesn't get it. A girl needs to feel wanted. Pursued. Randomly texting about sports teams, the 10 point buck you shot over the weekend, or what movie you're currently watching is not going to win her affection. She may answer the phone on her lunch hour when you call (because yes it was that much fun), BUT that does not mean the next time you text she will respond. Maybe try calling again. Maybe she'll answer. As stated in yesterday's post, there will be no stringing along.

Then there was the guy I just wasn't into. Now he did everything I've ever wanted a guy to do. Walking me out to my car, kissing me, asking when he could see me again. Following up the next day with a text restating what a good time he had. Calling. Just to talk. But there was no spark for me. No butterflies. Dammit I wish there would have been. He was a cute one.

And if you haven't guessed already, there is someone new. Another C in fact (Actually now that I think of it, all the guys I've dated have been C's. How weird is that?). We went out again last night. And guys there are butterflies! I want to keep this private for the time being, but here a few key points:

-he's gorgeous
-he laughs at my jokes
-he doesn't mind that I hate beer
-we talked for four hours on our first date and he still wanted a second one
-he's a gentleman
-he let me pick the movie
-he complimented my outfit
-he listens to me, and then brings up things I've said in later conversations
-did i mention he's gorgeous?

I'm optimistic, but guarded. I'm not going to rush into anything, but I sure have been in a good mood as of late. I'm hoping for fireworks. Stay tuned.

Excuses, Excuses

Reasons why I couldn't respond to another text from the FF last night:

I was...

• washing my hair
  
• getting a brazilian
  
• plucking my eyebrows
  
• taking a bubble bath
  
• talking to a guy who actually called me
  
• watching a Project Runway marathon
  
• gchatting
  
• filing my nails
  
• shaving
  
• vacuuming
  
• dusting every piece of furniture I own and all the crevices in between

Basically, I'll get back to you when I feel like it. Finally, the ball's in my court. Victory is sweet.

(So you guys don't think I'm a bitch - this guy has been pulling my strings for weeks. Calling when he feels like it. Usually texting. With nothing much to say. I don't know what you would do, but this girl refuses to be strung along. If you want to see me - call me. It's as simple as that.)

EDIT: So either he knows about my blog or he's psychic. Guess who called me on my lunch hour?! I don't understand men. At. all.

What mundane excuses have you used before?

Why A Daughter Needs A Dad

Front: Just a hug... for you
Inside: Just Because. Keep smilin' Michelle! It really does help. Love, Dad.

---

Because he knows when she needs a pick-me up without her even telling him.

(And whenever I say "Daddy..." he responds with, "Alright Michelle, how much do you need?")

The Delete Radar

After a Gchat discussion with my IBFF last night, she informed me of a technical dating term I wasn't aware of. Yes folks, the "Delete Radar". Ever heard of it? Well let me explain.

You see, you randomly meet a guy. Have a little fun. Exchange numbers. Some time goes by, no call. Since there really wasn't anything substantial behind this "relationship" you're kind of over it. Maybe you've even forgotten about him a little. Then a random phone call or text happens. You chat a little. Catch up. Start thinking "OK, maybe he was really busy. He seems like a nice guy after all." More time goes by. You're back to being over it. He may have even been demoted to oh I don't know "FF" in your phone list. Not even deserving of a name. As your finger is sternly placed over the delete button, ready to erase the contact number forever suddenly you have a message from him again. Nothing meaningful or poignant. It may even have been about a certain football team making it to the national championships. A certain football team that you couldn't give two shits about.

Why? I mean clearly you're getting the classic he's just not that into you signals. Well, he can sense it. He knows you're close to deleting him forever and he's not quite ready for you to do that. He wants to leave you hanging. So, kindly respond with a witty remark. Go back and forth for awhile if you so choose. But really, he's not worth it. Conversation ends and the delete button is pressed. Next time you won't even recognize the number.

To my single lady friends: don't let his delete radar fool you. He's still just not that into you.
EDIT:: To be fair to my homeboys, yes girls do this too. I may just be a little bias ;)

Guilt-Free Affairs

The title of this post will probably send me a lot of Google traffic from unhappy, adulterous husbands but eh I don't feel like changing it.

So you've all heard about "The List" right? When you're in a relationship with someone each of you can choose 5 celebrities that if opportunity arises you can bed without fear of consequence. (Now to be fair your choices have to be as famous as you can get, no local celebrities. I mean the chances have to be pretty slim to none here folks.)

Sarah blogged about it earlier this week but since she originally got the idea from my sidebar list I figure it's fair game :)

1. JENSEN ACKLES
   Hot daaaamn. Developed a crush on him way back in his soap opera days. He was Sammy's twin on Days of Our Lives. As Brookem would say - he has a great HOH (head of hair)!
   
   
   
   
2. JUDE LAW
   He was a recent addition after seeing The Holiday, he bumped John Corbett off the list in fact. That's saying something.
   
   
   
   
3. JOSHUA JACKSON
   A permanent fixture on my 5 Celebrities I would **** list. I mean look at him. Who wouldn't? And yes I own all the seasons of Dawson's Creek on DVD. Just to see his cute little face. I would even start drinking coffee just for him. Pour me a cup Josh?
   
   
   
   
4. BRAD PAISLEY
   Hey there stud muffin, I'd like to check you for ticks! Really though? Who wouldn't like to be serenaded by this gorgeous man to "She's Everything"? That is like my dream come true. (Sidenote: I was thisclose to winning tickets to his show this weekend! I was caller 7 of 12. I have never gotten anything other than a busy signal before in my life when I call into the radio.)
   
   
   
   
5. MATT DAMON
   I'm not really a big fan of his acting (except maybe in Oceans 11 & 12), but this list isn't about those kind of skills, if you know what I mean. ;)
   
   

So, there you have it. Agree? Disagree? Who would make your list?