Monday, December 3, 2007

The Delete Radar

After a Gchat discussion with my IBFF last night, she informed me of a technical dating term I wasn't aware of. Yes folks, the "Delete Radar". Ever heard of it? Well let me explain.

You see, you randomly meet a guy. Have a little fun. Exchange numbers. Some time goes by, no call. Since there really wasn't anything substantial behind this "relationship" you're kind of over it. Maybe you've even forgotten about him a little. Then a random phone call or text happens. You chat a little. Catch up. Start thinking "OK, maybe he was really busy. He seems like a nice guy after all." More time goes by. You're back to being over it. He may have even been demoted to oh I don't know "FF" in your phone list. Not even deserving of a name. As your finger is sternly placed over the delete button, ready to erase the contact number forever suddenly you have a message from him again. Nothing meaningful or poignant. It may even have been about a certain football team making it to the national championships. A certain football team that you couldn't give two shits about.

Why? I mean clearly you're getting the classic he's just not that into you signals. Well, he can sense it. He knows you're close to deleting him forever and he's not quite ready for you to do that. He wants to leave you hanging. So, kindly respond with a witty remark. Go back and forth for awhile if you so choose. But really, he's not worth it. Conversation ends and the delete button is pressed. Next time you won't even recognize the number.

To my single lady friends: don't let his delete radar fool you. He's still just not that into you.
EDIT:: To be fair to my homeboys, yes girls do this too. I may just be a little bias ;)

38 comments:

QueenBee said...

Ugh. I hate guys like that. I think they have a running contest to see how many girls they can have danging from their little string at one time.

I'm glad you're more wise than to fall for that. :-)

Heidi @ legallyheidi.com said...

so so true. all of it.

nicoleantoinette said...

Similarly, this term could also work for "guys you SHOULD delete, but whose numbers you put in your phone just to be nice," as in: you're the one with the delete radar. I usually put these guys in my phone as "no," and then I just don't answer.

Bitchy? haha

Scotty said...

He wants to leave you hanging.

Oh so true. But, girls do it too.

Yoda said...

Hahaha! I love that oblique reference to Ohio State making BCS #1 ... LOL!

Seriously, I agree with Scotty, chicks do that too.

Susie said...

haha oh so true. I usually like to keep the numbers in my phone though, so I know whether or not to answer or respond to a text. Otherwise, things just get confusing for me!

k said...

you have to stay tuned for part 2 of my story. it includes a text from a guy who's number i deleted (after i sent a pissy drunk text). i think he realized the bootie call wasn't gonna work when i had to ask who it was! :)

rachel said...

So true, but I think it's a game played by both sides. Sometimes when you just aren't sure, you still know one thing...having the option is always better than having nothing at all.

Hope said...

Oh boy, have I been there. The trick is to give his number to a friend you trust, then delete it from your phone.

Your friend will only give you his number when she deems he has made enough of an effort to pass the 'he's just not that into you' phase.

:)

AJ said...

SO TRUE!

I often see this type as not Mr Right, but possibly candidates for Mr Right-Now.

But you're still right.

A great thing about losing my phone was losing all those numbers that I should have deleted but couldn't bring myself to long ago.

PL said...

This is probably going to sound plain crazy, but I read He's Just Not That Into You a little over two years ago and it totally changed my life! Okay, maybe not my LIFE, but how I thought about dating. I started not caring so much about guys and the games they (at least the ones I was involved with) would play. Soon afterward I met B, and he tried in the beginning to do the typical guy thing. I think it was when he realized that I wasn't about to take it and BITCH, I WILL DELETE YOUR ASS REAL QUICK, that he stopped in his tracks and admitted that he was being a jerk and subsequently stopped acting like one.

If they really care about you, they will treat you the way you should be treated (and vice versa). Otherwise, it's so true, they're just not that into you.

~PL
http://ohseven.wordpress.com

Miriam said...

Wow. A delete radar huh? Interesting and very good advice, I wish I knew of this when I was still single.


http://lspoon.wordpress.com

Peter DeWolf said...

I'm with Susie.

I screen calls like a champ and need as much info as possible.

Wendy said...

I'm a big screener so normally if I don't recognize the number, I don't bother picking up. Hey, I have a voice mail they're more than welcome to use.

And if it's a text message that says something like a certain football team that you couldn't give two shits about, I'll probably not even bother texting back and that's when the fun starts 'cause if you don't text back, he'll think that you're already over the whole thing and if he still wants to play around and keep you "hanging" he'll probably text you again. Hopefully something better.

Kristie said...

I have a few phone numbers in my phone from guys like that. I STILL get text messages from them. Time to delete them. I hear ya!

Slightly Disorganized said...

um yeah hello? Did we not establish that he was lame WEEKS ago. I believe so. And I love you for posting this.

it's like they can smell it, you know like dogs can smell fear.

I am the worst with deleting though. I delete all the time. but you know that already.

brookem said...

Kinda sucks when this happens. I do the same thing as Susie though- I want to make sure I know who is calling so I can decide on the spot whether to take/avoid the call.

cdp said...

Hmm. So are you saying you don't give two shits about my Tigers making it to the national championship game?

FINE.

La said...

This makes me miss dating. Because it's been a REALLY long time since I've gotten someone's number. Like, six years.

Jess said...

It must be something to do with that radar they have that tells them when you become off-limits. You know--as soon as you start dating someone, the guys are lining up.

amanda rae said...

how do they do it, i mean, really, how do they sense that you are about to delete them?

ugh, guys are so lame.

Trish Ryan said...

This is a brilliant post. So true. You should repost this once a month as a public service reminder :)

alf said...

Whenever I feel as though I am on a guy's radar, I give them a nick name. They become demoted from "Dave" to "PSTS" (which, of course, stands for "Pants Slightly Too Short").
I always wonder what I am in people's phones then. It's a fun game.

ChasingParadise said...

I swear, guys really do have the radar. They always seem to come back around just as you've forgotten about them.

Katie said...

and then there are the occasional numbers that show up in my phone under names of people I honestly don't remember meeting... you know, after one of those late drunken debacles... yet, I'm always afraid to delete them for fear that they'll call me and I'm supposed to know who they are... one more reason I shouldn't drink so much...

Princess Pointful said...

So true!!!
It is eerie how as soon as you write a guy off, he is back in it like a dirty shirt!

blogging said...

AMEN SISTAH.

Blue Eyes? Yeah, totaly has the delete radar.

amen lady. amen. xo

Angela said...

That is such a perfect dating term!! This exact thing happened to me with a guy while Colby and I were on our break. And it's always the guys that seem so nice and sweet on the outside!

Katelin said...

This is a great dating term, you're right on the money with that one.

DG said...

Delete radar! What a great post Michelle!

mcgee said...

haha i love that. i've never heard of it, but that's totally happened to me too in the past!

The Ex said...

A truer blog has never been written.

L Sass said...

So true... although 9 times out of 10, I got drawn back in again and again!

Virginia said...

Brilliant! Another wonderful reason to delete those useless guys is so that when you've had lots of wine and are trying to drunk dial your friends, you don't accidentally hit their useless numbers instead. I mean, I may know that from personal experience. Which was veeeery awkward.

Passionista said...

Good points! But I usually keep guys that are nnuisances like that in my phone so I know when NOT to answer!

LN said...

Okay, so I'm reading your archives and had to comment on this post. A few years ago I met a guy at a bar (while very drunk) and gave him my number. SIX MONTHS LATER he left me a voice mail at 3 in the morning saying he found my number in his phone and thought he would call me to see if I wanted to hang out. I saved the message for weeks just so I could listen and laugh my ass off!! Did he really think I would call back after 6 months when it was clearly a booty call??!!

PrincessPolly said...

Ha ha, i read this after reading your comment on yesterday's post I wrote and that's exactly what WF is like too! I think every so often he just thinks "Oh Paula was into me, maybe I'll give her a text, or a call, see if she fancies a shag." Er - no thanks!

Ashley E said...

I love this!! I have all my exes in the phone---my reasoning? I can't be surprised if they call me and i dont recognize their number and therefore pick up the phone. I don't like surprises.

Although guys i've just dated and nothing panned out I'll erase. :)