I Put Out The Fire

As I'm sure some of you noticed, mention of FF and GQ came to a startling halt a few weeks ago. In summary, here's why:

After picking up on FF's Delete Radar capabilities it wasn't hard to figure out his ulterior motives. His charming but infrequent texts were sent merely as a reminder - "Hey Michelle, I still have your number saved in my phone and I will continue to text you as long as you respond." Yeah thanks, but no thanks. I relayed via text message a few weeks ago that I think we're just in two different places right now. He wanted a carefree, unattached "relationship". I wasn't looking for anything serious either, but wanted something a tad more ... meaningful. In other words, it was fun while it lasted. Message sent loud and clear. Or so I thought.

A week later another "Hey what are you up to?" text is received. Hopefully the lack of response on my end will clear things up this time around. I have a feeling he was testing me to see if I really meant what I said. Yes, yes I did. You, my friend, have been deleted!

Breaking things off with GQ wasn't quite as easy. He is a very nice guy that was very into me, but the feelings weren't mutual. There was no chemistry. No spark. And hell, I need spark! After a semi-disastrous date a few weeks ago, I had come to the conclusion that I wouldn't be seeing him again. I figured I would verbalize it the next time he called. Well, who knew it would take him two weeks?! I think he saw it coming and the random "Just saying hey" or "How was your weekend?" texts gave it away. But I just couldn't bring myself to tell him what I had to say via text. Why is that suddenly acceptable with our generation? I mean on Sex & the City, Carrie was broken up with on a post-it note. Isn't texting just as bad?! In the words of Stephanie Tanner, "How rude!"

Eventually the phone call did come. As awkward as it was, I feel so much better. A clean, honest break. Just what I was hoping for. It seems I'm getting pretty good at telling guys, I'm just not that into you.

In regards to my hott Saturday night date, I will reveal this much:

Chemistry. My god, the chemistry.

Time Warp

Hands clasped, one largely disproportionate to the other (both freezing).
Legs elevated, entwined.
Head resting gently on shoulder, just barely reaching.
Bodies close to keep warm.
Silence, although not the awkward kind.

Is this what it's like to feel 15 again?

The silence is broken, tickling has ensued.
Laughter fills the air.
Begrudgingly, a truce is made.
Sealed with a kiss.

Yes, I'm definitely 15 again.

California Dreamin' On Such A Winter's Day

Woke up to this:



Hoping my flight isn't cancelled/delayed!! (Guess who's taking me to the airport? Yeah, I think he likes me.)

I will be spending my weekend in California with THIS FABULOUS GIRL:

1. to try to erase this day from my mind forever.
   
2. to verify that she is just that fabulous.
   
3. to see my long-time friend, Nate (he's the one on the bottom right).
   
4. to go out, dance with boys and have an all around good time!
   
5. to shop, get mani/pedis and sightsee too of course!

Stay warm my fellow midwesterners. I'll be back Monday to tell you all about it.

Oh, and did I mention this is my first time flying EVER? I may just pass out...

The Post That Has Been Avoided For Far Too Long

I know a few of you have caught on to my [maybe not so] subtle hints and it's only fair to dish (a little).

Since the breakup I have managed to bring my confidence level back up to where it should be. Probably higher than it's ever been. I'm not trying to be cocky in saying that, it's just that my entire life I have never had high self esteem. No one I have dated has made me feel confident about myself. In fact, most of the time I felt insecure. Afraid they were going to leave me. When I was thrown back out into the dating world I was pretty damn nervous. Let's just say it didn't take long for my self esteem to be restored.

At first there was FF. A fling. And a fun one at that. But he just doesn't get it. A girl needs to feel wanted. Pursued. Randomly texting about sports teams, the 10 point buck you shot over the weekend, or what movie you're currently watching is not going to win her affection. She may answer the phone on her lunch hour when you call (because yes it was that much fun), BUT that does not mean the next time you text she will respond. Maybe try calling again. Maybe she'll answer. As stated in yesterday's post, there will be no stringing along.

Then there was the guy I just wasn't into. Now he did everything I've ever wanted a guy to do. Walking me out to my car, kissing me, asking when he could see me again. Following up the next day with a text restating what a good time he had. Calling. Just to talk. But there was no spark for me. No butterflies. Dammit I wish there would have been. He was a cute one.

And if you haven't guessed already, there is someone new. Another C in fact (Actually now that I think of it, all the guys I've dated have been C's. How weird is that?). We went out again last night. And guys there are butterflies! I want to keep this private for the time being, but here a few key points:

-he's gorgeous
-he laughs at my jokes
-he doesn't mind that I hate beer
-we talked for four hours on our first date and he still wanted a second one
-he's a gentleman
-he let me pick the movie
-he complimented my outfit
-he listens to me, and then brings up things I've said in later conversations
-did i mention he's gorgeous?

I'm optimistic, but guarded. I'm not going to rush into anything, but I sure have been in a good mood as of late. I'm hoping for fireworks. Stay tuned.