And So Are The Days Of My Life :: A Dating Update, As Promised, Part One

Many of my friends would describe my life right now as a soap opera. In other words, filled with drama. You know what I think? I have a lot of great stories to keep them entertained. What can I say, I like to think positively.

So you guys want to be filled in now don't you? We shall call this stage in my life "dating post-RollerCoaster-ex Round Two".

I don't know about you guys, but after a break up I tend to be a creature of habit. Calling someone I've dated before, feel comfortable enough to hang out with again. This time around it was FF. Do you remember him? Well, I reconnected with him shortly after my break-up. Even now, I find us sending texts back and forth every couple days. It's just a fun, flirty "relationship" that will never go anywhere. But it makes you feel good just to know someone thinks you're attractive. Especially after someone else just kicked your ass to the curb.

About a month went by before I was actually ready to start dating again. "Ready" might not be the right word, but that's what I'm going with. I went on a few first dates that crashed and burned. But they actually helped me get back on my feet and realize that I was ready to find someone I clicked with.

And that I did. On a first date with a rather adorable landscaper paramedic firefighter (yes-he-has-3-jobs) guy. We had plans for dinner. Conversation flowed rather well. I was really attracted to him (I could tell because I wouldn't shut up). When the check came he suggested a movie. I agreed. We ended up seeing one and getting in a round of mini-golf beforehand. It was a lot of fun. Effortless, really. I have never felt that comfortable with someone that quickly. When he put his hand on the small of my back or wrapped his arm around my waist, it felt... nice. A kiss ended the night and date #2 followed a few days later. Date #3 the following week and so on. He made time for me despite his busy schedule and I could tell he was really into me.

However, this guy I had such a nice connection with turned into The Critic. When visiting my place he criticized the color of my walls, the weeds growing around my patio, the (small) shoe pile by my back door, etc. Suddenly, it seemed like he didn't have anything nice to say. Phrases such as "I really like you" "Good morning beautiful" and "Do you miss me yet?" vanished into thin air. When you're dating someone new shouldn't the adorable I'm-trying-to-impress-you stage last a little longer than a few weeks? Thank god I read my dating manual, He's Just Not That Into You, and was able to call a spade a spade. There's nothing I can't stand more than a flake.

I really wish that great chemistry was a good enough reason to stick it out a little longer. Especially since you're always worried you'll never have that feeling again with someone new, so when you do, it's very reassuring. But you need something else to fall back on after over a month of (even casually) dating. After being so badly (i.e. recently) hurt by Roller Coaster ex, I was not willing to put my heart out on the line again for someone whose intentions I didn't fully trust. So I ended it before I went down the same path again.

I should have known after FF to never trust a man in uniform, but tell me, how can one resist?! If a guy ever tells me he's a firefighter again, I am going to have to politely excuse myself from the conversation. Why do they have to be so damn adorable?!


So, that is Part One of my recap but stay tuned! You definitely want to hear about the worst kisser in the history of the world...

The Beginning Of The Second Quarter

25 years are over.

My quarter-life has been full of ups and downs. Breaking hearts and, currently, a severely broken heart of my own. Becoming an aunt for the very first time. Graduating college. Living on my own. Moving to a new city. Making new friends, becoming closer with old friends and growing apart from some.

Overall my 20s have been a learning experience. I know more about myself and what I want from life than ever before. I am stubborn, determined and dramatic. Creative, hardworking and loyal. I'm a daughter, sister, friend, aunt, blogger and confidante. I love with my heart on my sleeve, like I have nothing to lose and everything to give. I am sensitive, nurturing and understanding. I take pride in my accomplishments but sometimes am a bit too self-critical. I'm more relaxed then I've ever been. I've learned when it's safe to let it all "hang out" and when to keep on my game face. I take risks. I cherish the people who care about me and crumble when they can't follow through. But I am strong enough to pick myself up, dust myself off and start over. I've done it before, I can do it again.

I know these next 25 years are going to be just as turbulent, but I'm looking forward to it. Learning, growing, loving and laughing. I have a hell of a lot more life to live.

Hello, 26!

On My Own

This post is dedicated to one of my very best friends, Jenn. You'll learn to love living on your own as a single girl. I promise. And on those days when you're hating it, call me.

The day I realized I was going to be on my own again, I was afraid. I'm going to be lonely, I'm going to hate it, I thought. Who am I going to talk to? I'm going to become a crazy cat lady who's 80 years old with no one that loves her. Oh, have I not mentioned I'm dramatic?

But you know what? I actually like living by myself. Scratch that. I love it. I have appreciated doing the things that make me happy, and me alone. Not thinking for anyone else.

Now don't get me wrong. There are days when loneliness kicks in. I don't have a date lined up every night. But usually on those nights when I don't have a happy hour with friends, a night out on the town, or a night in with a date scheduled, I have plenty of things to keep me busy. I mean why else have I been recording every season of Project Runway on my DVR? And why else did I buy the entire series of Sex & the City on DVD? I turn on the boob tube, catch up on reruns and open a bag of honey wheat pretzels. And like I was telling a very unconvinced Jenn, those nights are few and far between. By the time they roll around, I want a night to myself.

To further convince her that the single life is oh so fabulous, I decided to put together a list of all the things I have done by myself in the last two months. Some things I could have done with a man by my side but didn't and some things I never would have done while in a relationship. But damn I'm glad I did!

1. Went to see a movie. This may not seem like a big deal to anyone else, but it's saying something for me. I would never have went out alone before. I'm more confident now than ever, and I'm proud of myself for it.
   
2. Went out to dinner. Table for one.
   
3. Saw 2 art exhibits. Art is something I love and when I was in a relationship I didn't pursue that love. Now I have time to!
   
4. Read 7 books. Mostly on dating. Gotta get back in the game somehow!
   
5. Travelled to California! On a plane, by myself, for the first time ever.
   
6. Took a bubble bath. For the first time in years. OK, so this may be one that would have been more fun with a man by my side! But I'll take my glass of wine for now.
   
7. Bought strawberry Propel. I had been convinced this flavor wasn't any good. It's my new favorite.
   
8. Reconnected with several old friends and met a few new ones. I vow in my next relationship to not lose touch in the first place. There's nothing more important than having people that care about you in your life at all times. And I have a feeling that my new friendships are going to turn into life-long ones. What a great feeling.
   
9. Fixed my dryer. Laugh at me. Come on get it out. But before I would have called a guy friend to fix it for me. Or made my dad drive 4 hours. What can I say? I'm a daddy's girl.
   
10. Planned vacations! Now that I'm not afraid of flying, what better way to spend my time than to visit new places? In the works so far: a girls-only sleepover weekend in Pittsburgh this month, a special Californian comes to Ohio in February or March, a crazy gambling/drunk weekend in Vegas in April, and a meeting of the minds in New York City in May (Blog Con '08)!

So guys you have to help me out - those of you who are single living on your own and those of you who have been there at some point (that moment you finally moved out of your parents' house on your own). Help me convince Jenn it'll be OK. For some reason she's not believing me!

My Bachelorette Pad!

I know you've all been waiting on the edge of your seats for these (if not just play along with my excitement lol)!

My Bedroom:





Master Bathroom:



Guest Bedroom (Office):



Guest Bathroom:



What you didn't want to see my zebra picture?



Living Room:









I have a thing for penguins :)



Kitchen:







The Infamous Green! Toaster!



Dining Room:



I also have a patio and garage but those are kind of boring :)

Hope you enjoyed the sneak peek!! I could snag a guy with a place like this, right? ;)

Way Back When

Inspired by Hope's post yesterday.

30 years ago: My parents didn't know what they had coming. I wasn't even a blip on their radar.

20 years ago: I developed my first boy crush with the neighbor boy Johnnie across the street. We used to climb trees together. He's married now.

10 years ago: Our family came thisclose to moving to a new town the summer before I started high school. This was a year of self discovery, clicks and growing up. I got up the nerve to call my boy crush that year. He may have told me he liked one of my friends. I also went to semi-formal dateless - and I was OK with that.

5 years ago: I wasn't even legally able to drink! You would most likely have found me in the graphic design lab til the wee hours of the morning bonding with some of the best friends I ever made. Or necking behind the garage at my boyfriend's parents' house ;)

2 years ago: I had started my first "real" job. And may or may not have had a crush on my boss. I also met my AWESOME friend Anna that year. Jenn still lived here then... sigh.

1 year ago: I was dating the guy I thought was "the one". Pretty content with life, but ready to leave my job. Started perusing the want ads.

1 month ago: Was enjoying a weekend at Cedar Point with C's family. Had no idea a week later my life was going to completely change.

Yesterday: Saw him for the last time. Did not deal with it well. May have acted a little crazy.

Today: Woke up for the last time on my friend's couch. Waiting for my parents to arrive to help me move. Played with Gracie & Zoey one last time.

Tomorrow: My brand new life begins. In my condo with my kitties. All alone for the first time in my life.

I Never Post Twice In One Day BUT

I got the condo!!!!!!!!!

I'm moving in this weekend hopefully. All my stuff is already packed so this should be an easy feat. I'm not going to lie. I'm scared shitless. And really quite sad. But I'm starting over with my life, so I should be able to muster up a little excitement right?

I bought a ton of stuff already (including all my bedroom accessories and a green! toaster!) and pictures will come once I'm all settled in. But for now here's what the buildings look like. I couldn't find a picture of the exact community, but these are really similar (mine's white and sadly, no balcony):


BRAND NEW. NEVER LIVED IN.
1300(squee!) sq. ft.
2 bedroom, 2.5 bath
All new appliances
Attached garage with keyless entry
Fenced in patio



OK, so I'm a tiny bit excited :)
And I wanted to share the only good news I've had in quite awhile.