Throwing In The Towel

Not on my blog. But on NaBloPoMoShmo. It did me in. With my mom visiting this weekend and helping me with final condo preparations, I just couldn't find the time to post. AND I took a ton of pictures that will be posted tomorrow (even the green! toaster!)

I will not, however, be throwing in the towel on the questions you guys asked me.

Today's is from Princess Extraordinaire:
Where were you when you had your first kiss and who was it with?

I'm going to move right along to my first real kiss. What I mean by that is, those little awkward pecks when I was in elementary school don't count because a.) I don't really remember them and b.) We didn't really even know it was supposed to be romantic then.

Moving on. I was 15 years old. It was the summer after my freshman year in high school. A friend of mine (I will call him Spence) and I had been hanging out quite a bit together. It started off with a group of us and then it would always pair down to just the two of us alone on a Saturday afternoon.

For my birthday he made me a mix CD and picked out all the green M&Ms from about 12 bags (they were my favorite, don't ask). He handmade me a birthday card signed Your Friend*, Spence. The asterisk? Yeah, I got butterflies.

He officially "asked me out" on July 3, 1997. I was his girlfriend, SQUEE! He asked me to come over to his house the following night and watch a movie. Neither of us had a license yet so his mom came and picked me up. The kiss actually happened on the ride home. Yes, his mother was in the car. HA.

I had braces at that point in my life. I was freaking out about them. Will they get in the way? Do I have food stuck in them or something? Yeah I was a nervous wreck. But he leaned over and laid one right on me. No tongue, but man what a kiss! I got out of the car and as I was walking to the front door it felt like I was walking on air. I know that sounds so cliche and corny, but I SWEAR that's what it felt like.

Also, I remember being SO nervous that my dad would be able to tell I had been kissed. Like there was some evidence plastered all over my face. In reality there was just a huge smile on the face of a girl in major lust. Sigh.

A Little Something For Everyone

Thanks Ashley, what a great post idea.

...It's been years since we dated, but I still think about you once in awhile. I wish you were more computer savvy that way I could "google" you.

...I miss you more than words could say. You were my best friend for so many years and I never thought our friendship would end up like this. But I've done my part. The ball's in your court.

...I want to make you proud. I know I've disappointed you over the past few weeks, but this has been such a hard time for me. I am getting through it and taking the right steps to be happy again. Thanks for being there for me every single day.

...I love that after months of not talking on the phone, we can pick up right where we left off. You are one of the best friends I will ever have.

...I'm scared for you. You are so young, and not ready for this big life change. I wish you would have been more careful. But of course I don't judge, and I still love you like a big sister should.

...You've been like a sister to me. Thanks for the shoulder to cry on, the couch to sleep on, and being the sober one behind the wheel when I needed it most. I know we will always be friends.

...Even though we've never met, I feel like we are twin souls. I can tell you anything and you the same. You give the best advice and have told me to "PUT DOWN THAT PHONE" without me even telling you it was in my hand. Three more weeks!!!

...I never thought you could hurt me like that. Never in a million years. You deserve her.

...I wish you would text me back already. Can we... just one more time? K thanks bye.

...We are going to have so much fun tonight. Thanks for letting me into your circle of friends with such open arms. Here comes the fabulous single life!

...Your design skills amaze me. LOLcatz and now this. Thanks for making my day today.

The Perks of Singledom

Inspired by the book I'm currently reading Better Single Than Sorry

• The toilet seat is always down.
  
• I can have peanut butter on toast for dinner if I want. (That was so what I ate last night... what?)
  
• I don't have to worry about guys checking me out at the bar. I can enjoy it!
  
• The remote is solely in MY control.
  
• I can buy a green toaster if I want to.
  
• No need to spend extra money on gifts for the holidays.
  
• I can talk on the phone for all hours of the night and not feel guilty.
  
• I can read blogs for all hours of the night and not feel guilty. ;)
  
• My friends can finally set me up with all those cute single guys they've been warding off.
  
• Those heels and sexy dresses will finally come in handy!
  
• I can break out the comfy pj pants and t-shirts from junior high to lounge around the house in.
  
• Chick flick marathons on the weekends and lots of Sex & the City reruns!
  
• I can randomly hop on a plane to California!
  
• My underwear and bra don't always have to match.
  
• I can sleep right in the middle of the bed and lay spread eagle if I want to.
  
• I only have to wash MY dirty clothes. And only when I feel like it.
  
• There's no one to be angry at me if I don't come home ;)

It's Hump Day

I say let's all go out and celebrate ;)

So I'm really, REALLY busy today, BUT here is a brief list of things that have made me happy recently:

• Late night greasy food from McDonald's - god it's been too long.
  
• Having the best time I've had in a LONG time Sunday night.
  
• Having someone find me sexy again and tell me so.
  
• A house warming gift from a co-worker that I will use this week to have a little fun.
  
• Gchat convos with my IBFF - scandals, secrets, and other ghetto randomness.
  
• Cheap tickets on Skybus.
  
• My dad telling me "I'm so proud of you."
  
• Catching up with old friends (yay! Josh) over drinks and good food.
  
• Finally signing up for cable & internet. Yay for DVR this weekend!!!
  
• Having every single person I called in my moment of weakness call me back. Best feeling in the world. Even if they could barely hear me over the blaring jukebox. "You find out who your friends are" - so true.
  
• All 73 emails of support and many more comments I have received from my wonderful readers. You guys rock! And yes, someone please start that Facebook group for me.
  
  
• EDIT:: After coming back from the doctor to make sure there were no Muppet remnants... I found out I'm almost at my goal weight without even trying! Hello 120s! That's an excuse for a new wardrobe right? When your pants are falling off?

Dear Michelle from Sunday Night,

Hello there dear. Chin up. I know moving has been hard and you are feeling depressed right now, but guess what? Within a few hours you'll be over it! What, don't believe me? Just make sure you follow your gut around 4:00 and make your trip to Blockbuster. You'll thank me later. BUT listen to your mother the first time she calls, OK? You promise?

Alright. Before you leave for Blockbuster make sure to pack some make-up essentials in your purse. You'll need to wipe away the smudged mascara later. Oh and spray on a little extra perfume. Pack a lighter and some aspirin, too (these will come in handy later).

Now, make sure when you frantically pull in Anna's driveway you remember to GRAB YOUR KEYS! I know you have AAA and everything, but really this just wastes precious time that could be spent at the bar.

CHARGE YOUR PHONE. You will need this tomorrow morning. And everybody and their mother will be returning your phone call tonight. Do not put it on vibrate. (And by the way you do not have the unlimited text messaging plan genius).

Once you get there, hide your money. Really, $15 in the jukebox? Unnecessary. I know you want to hear "Fool Hearted Man" and "Before He Cheats" over and over, but the rest of the bar? Not so much.

Arcade bowling is not your strong suit, but play anyway. You will have fun.

Before you leave remember you wore a jacket! You had it hanging on the back of your chair while you were playing pool, but it slid off and fell on the floor. Oh remind Anna to grab hers too.

At the next bar, you stuck your debit card in your purse, but not in your wallet. Don't panic. It's there.

When you leave the bar avoid the puddles. And big trucks usually have handles by the door so there's no need to struggle getting in. Look up!

Set fourteen alarms. No, I'm serious.

Your missing earring? It's stuck in your hair darlin'. No, those are NOT your keys. Put them down. And your car is at Anna's house.

Glad you had fun. Now don't do this again tomorrow.

Much love,
Michelle from Tuesday Afternoon

The Private Post

So I'm mad at Blogger right now because I can't make a post password protected, only my entire blog.

There were some developments this weekend with the move out and I wanted to share them with you guys, but not the entire world. If you would, shoot me an email (michelleandthecity@gmail.com) and I will send it to you. If you're a new reader/commenter please include a link to your blog so I know you're not someone trying to pull a fast one over on me!

Oh and feel free to come back and comment if you want. Just not in too much detail and let's be "nice" - at least a little ;)

P.S. - If anyone has the answer to a password protected post on Blogger let me know!

Way Back When

Inspired by Hope's post yesterday.

30 years ago: My parents didn't know what they had coming. I wasn't even a blip on their radar.

20 years ago: I developed my first boy crush with the neighbor boy Johnnie across the street. We used to climb trees together. He's married now.

10 years ago: Our family came thisclose to moving to a new town the summer before I started high school. This was a year of self discovery, clicks and growing up. I got up the nerve to call my boy crush that year. He may have told me he liked one of my friends. I also went to semi-formal dateless - and I was OK with that.

5 years ago: I wasn't even legally able to drink! You would most likely have found me in the graphic design lab til the wee hours of the morning bonding with some of the best friends I ever made. Or necking behind the garage at my boyfriend's parents' house ;)

2 years ago: I had started my first "real" job. And may or may not have had a crush on my boss. I also met my AWESOME friend Anna that year. Jenn still lived here then... sigh.

1 year ago: I was dating the guy I thought was "the one". Pretty content with life, but ready to leave my job. Started perusing the want ads.

1 month ago: Was enjoying a weekend at Cedar Point with C's family. Had no idea a week later my life was going to completely change.

Yesterday: Saw him for the last time. Did not deal with it well. May have acted a little crazy.

Today: Woke up for the last time on my friend's couch. Waiting for my parents to arrive to help me move. Played with Gracie & Zoey one last time.

Tomorrow: My brand new life begins. In my condo with my kitties. All alone for the first time in my life.

I Can't Do This Anymore

I'm sick of pretending that I'm happy. Putting on a smile for the rest of the world. Fake it until you make it they say. I can't do it anymore you guys. I'm out of strength. I don't have any left.

I'm sorry I can't be more creative today. My family's coming this weekend to help me move. I'm hoping they'll be able to help me through this. I have a feeling many tears will be shed this weekend.

And I have to say goodbye to these cute faces forever:

Will We Bump Carts At Giant Eagle?

I know you guys have given me all kinds of questions to answer. I'm going to get to them all I promise (trust me - I have 60 days of post topics to come up with)! But after reading Mike's wonderful proposal story earlier it got me thinking:

Where did you meet your current significant other/spouse?

I guess what makes me so nervous and scared about this whole break-up is the thought of never finding someone else. Or where the hell will I find someone else? Do I even want to be with anyone else right now? Will anyone compare to him? See what I mean? This is the kind of crap that runs through my head all day.

But really. "The one". Where will I find him? Will we bump carts in the frozen food section of Giant Eagle? Will he randomly compliment me as I walk to work? Will he be my waiter at Max & Erma's and write his number on the check? Maybe he'll find my blog, come to the conclusion that I'm the woman of his dreams and move across the country to Columbus, Ohio. What? It could happen.

So here's where you come in guys. Tell me your story. How did you meet your knight in shining armor (or for the guys your lady in red)? I'm not a bar hopping kind of girl and need some hope that the bar and work aren't the only places to find men nowadays.

For my fellow single bloggers, where do you go to meet guys/girls? Give a girl some pointers!

The Wonders Of Google - Volume 2

Last month I wrote a post on how people get to my blog. We all want to know how people find us right? How else are you supposed to increase traffic if you have no idea how many readers you have to begin with? If you haven't already I suggest you sign up on Sitemeter and Google Analytics. Technorati is also a great site to track your favorite blogs and see who else has linked to your site.

Also, our 20-somethings blog ring is growing exponentially (due in part to Janet's article in the Washington Post!!) and I am so excited to see how much traffic I get from the site (Check out my profile. I love comments hint, hint)! It has been so nice getting to meet all of you - especially fellow Midwesterners!

Now on to the fun stuff:

well you want my money babe you want spit on you
Um, no? Thanks anyway. I really hope these are godawful song lyrics.

pumpkin cheesecake
Is heaven. No need to do a Google search people - go out and try it! Cheesecake Factory here you come :)

is funny how someone can break your heart
I wish it were funny. Sadly, it has been one of the most painful things I've ever experienced. Have you ever had to love someone that just don't feel the same? Not funny at all, my friend.

ginormous jugs 2
OK really... who keeps searching for this? Are you doing this to mess with my head?

wear glasses the rest of life
You could get contacts. Or laser eye surgery. Other than that I'm out of ideas. You're stuck with bad vision like the rest of us.

http://michelle-and-the-city.blogspot.com
Why are you searching for my URL? Sign up for my feed already!

dumped years ago & still hurting
This is not helping me people. Need positive vibes.

tortious cdp engagement ring blog
These shenanigans crack me up. Psycho stalker much? We've got your back CDP!

tights bus driver
Last I knew bus drivers didn't wear tights. Please send photo documentation. I can feel laughter coming on already.

tater tot casserole
I still get the most hits from searches due to this recipe (like seriously over 300). It's good - trust me!

hottie, blogspot
Why yes. You've found me. Now if you're a single guy and live in the vicinity of C-bus...

---

Isn't this fun? People search for the weirdest things I tell you.

I Never Post Twice In One Day BUT

I got the condo!!!!!!!!!

I'm moving in this weekend hopefully. All my stuff is already packed so this should be an easy feat. I'm not going to lie. I'm scared shitless. And really quite sad. But I'm starting over with my life, so I should be able to muster up a little excitement right?

I bought a ton of stuff already (including all my bedroom accessories and a green! toaster!) and pictures will come once I'm all settled in. But for now here's what the buildings look like. I couldn't find a picture of the exact community, but these are really similar (mine's white and sadly, no balcony):


BRAND NEW. NEVER LIVED IN.
1300(squee!) sq. ft.
2 bedroom, 2.5 bath
All new appliances
Attached garage with keyless entry
Fenced in patio



OK, so I'm a tiny bit excited :)
And I wanted to share the only good news I've had in quite awhile.

If Love Was Enough

Can't love be enough for you?
Mine is never ending
And when I look at you
There is no pretending

Please say you'll stay
I can't go on another day

I need you near me

-My own words inspired by Graham Colton's music

---

I thought this would get easier. Day in and day out the pain remains.

"Things I would do just to have you back again, I’d single-handedly prove to you that I can - Fight for you cry for you I’d live and die for you" - you rock BB.

An Unclear Ending

Miriam posed the question - Do you believe in reincarnation? Do you believe our actions mandate getting into Heaven or Hell or do you believe we just die?

This is a tough topic for me. A topic I've had many conversations about with only a select few people who are close to me (including C - which oddly enough our discussion on this topic was one of the reasons I had found us to be so compatible). A topic I don't think I can talk about without bringing up my religious (or lack thereof) beliefs.

As a child I was raised Catholic, attended a Catholic school from kindergarten to eighth grade, and even went to church on occasion. Slowly our weekly Sunday church outings dwindled to monthly and by the time I started high school my family was what I like to call CEO Catholics (Christmas & Easter Only).

To tell you the truth I didn't see a reason to attend church if my heart wasn't in it. If the whole time I was questioning what organized religion was all about. Even at a young age I found myself wondering "If God is listening why do we all need to gather to talk about it? Why can't I tell him when I pray at night?"

Faith is such a strong feeling to possess. I've seen it manifest in people close to me and it really is inspiring. I feel that I have faith in "god", just not the same God as everyone else. I believe that life is a gift. Walking outside, taking everything in, enjoying the beauty of our world is "god". Hearing the birds sing, watching the sun rise and hearing a baby laugh is "god". My faith comes from my surroundings. From life in general. And to not take it for granted. I believe we were put on this earth to live life to the fullest. Not to be judged by our actions while we're here and later punished for our sins.

Sadly the thought of my own death and the deaths of those who are closest to me is one of my greatest fears. Mostly because I am unsure about our ending on earth. Personally I don't believe in heaven and hell or reincarnation, but rather just an ending. And I guess that's what makes it so scary. We are finite. On the other hand, there is a part of me that hopes our spirits live on. But I have always been a logical girl; needing proof, resolution and answers to everything. And death is no different.

I hope I haven't lost any readers by posting my views on this topic. I wish I could be the kind of person who can believe without proof. Love without doubt. And have faith without turning their back. But I'm not. I don't appreciate life any less, in fact I'd like to think I live it more fully because I believe this is all we've been given. Our time here and now.

A Box Full Of Memories

I carried out the last box, and looked around the dark garage full of everything that is now "mine". Wow, this is really happening. So much sadness swept over me at that moment, it was paralyzing. My elbow is still throbbing from my fall earlier. Surely I'll be able to see evidence on my right cheek later as well. But that physical pain doesn't even compare to what's happening to my heart.

I wandered back inside and gathered together a few more things that were lying around. Glanced over to the mantle where our cards were displayed. Big mistake. I sat on the couch and lost it. I couldn't help it. It had been days since I had cried like that, but nothing could stop it. "I love you soooo much" "You're it". Rereading his words again and again. Pure torture. My mom put her arm around me and told me "One day someone will say those words to you again. I promise. You'll find him."

I'm trying to be strong. This has been the longest we've ever went without speaking since the day we met. And there's a chance we may never speak again. I wish this wasn't how it had to end.

Confidence Boost

I was crossing the street from the parking garage yesterday on the way to work (dressed in my cute new jacket of course!) and a guy decked out in his professional attire was walking across the street and actually stopped in his tracks, did a double take and then said

"Excuse me, miss? I just wanted to say that you look really nice this morning."

I first questioned if he was actually talking to me, but then replied with a thank you and kept walking. Wait what? I kept walking? Smooth move Michelle. You're going to be really good at this.

I'm In Ur Minds, Reading Ur Thotz

OK Libby - What would my superpower be, you ask?

Reading minds. Hands down.

However, I would want the ability to turn it on and off unlike in the movie What Women Want. I think Mel Gibson's brain imploded a few times. I don't know if I would use the superpower that often as it could be seen as an invasion of privacy. Details, details.

But think about it... reading minds would be ideal in the dating world. Guys wouldn't have to wonder if they'd get rejected by a cute girl they see at the bar. Chances are if she's not thinking about you, you have no chance (or she's into another guy on the other side of the room). Girls would never have to find out "He's Just Not That Into You". That book would never have made it to bestseller status. Hell it might have never been written! We would already know. Basically having this superpower would weed through all the bullshit in relationships.

"Where do you see our relationship going? Do you think we have a future together?"
--What you hear: "Yeah babe. Of course."
--What he's really thinking: "What can I say that will not cause a fight? I'm not even sure I want to marry this girl. Shit I hate talking about my feelings. Think of a stall...think of a stall."

What time we could save.

Oh and how great would that superpower have been in high school and college? Talk about a 4.0! ;)

Whose mind would you read if you could?

If you haven't already (or thought of more questions to ask since yesterday) please comment on my last post and add your questions to the list. I have to get through 60 days here people.... SIXTY! ;)

It's Officially Begun!

Yikes! National Blog Posting Month begins today (as well as my "he-tox"). Woo!

I'm shooting for 60 days here folks. I know it's supposed to be 30, but I've always been an overachiever. Really, though - it's what they told me I should do. I'm going to leave the decision up to the professionals. So here's to day numero uno!

Originally I was going to have a "theme" for aforementioned NaBloPoMo festivities, but November 1st is here and I've yet to come up with something. So this is my plan...and this COULD backfire in my face so bear with me. I'm asking you, my loyal readers, to ask me anything your heart desires [within reason] and I will answer. It could be as silly as what my last meal would be or as complicated as my feelings on the death penalty. Want to know about my first kiss? The first time I said the "L" word? Or maybe you want to know what I do in my spare time? Who my best friend is? Do I get along with my parents? What is my biggest fear? I'll tell you whatever you want [within reason]. This should be fun!

So please don't let this backfire in my face - pretty please with cherries on top. Ask away - as many questions as you want! And I encourage those of you who read but don't comment to come out of hiding for this one! You can post anonymously if you want or shoot me an email michelleandthecity@gmail.com. I'd love to hear from you. Trust me, e-mail makes me happy :)