Just last week I started the What's Your Beef Wednesday tradition and already I have a list a mile long. But guess what - this week it's all about men. Why they suck and why I hate them. Well, you know ... for now. (It's sad that not many guys will actually read this isn't it? Feel free to send the link to all those jerks who broke your heart.)
And please, share your own beefs with guys in the comments... you know the drill!
- Conversation. Do you know how to hold one? You know, talk about your feelings? Because bottling them up sure doesn't help the situation or clue your girlfriend in that she's in for heartbreak. You shouldn't talk about movies, music, or what you want for dinner when you really want to talk about the fact that you're unhappy, don't want to see their face anymore, and wonder why you ever asked them to move in with you in the first place.
Also, when we email you or text you with a thoughtful message could you stop and think about the response you send back maybe? I know you don't think anything of it to just say yes/no/maybe or whatever the obvious response would be. How about throwing in "That was nice" or "I love you too" even "xoxo" would work.
Oh and once in awhile telling her she looks beautiful wouldn't hurt either.
- Sex. So, guys? Women like to be seduced. Turned on. They don't want to do the asking. Once in awhile is OK, you know when she feels like just tearing off your clothes, but other nights why don't you give it a shot? Is that too much to ask?
Clue: wearing anything other than normal bedroom attire to sleep should turn your head. There are reasons behind the wardrobe guys. Reasons I tell you. Get your heads out of the clouds.
Also, pleasure is a two way street. Make sure you make your way to the other side. Especially if you're only venturing out once or twice a week. Don't make her waste precious AA batteries.
- Commitment. This is where it gets fuzzy. For you. Asking someone to move in with you (when they are perfectly settled in a place of their own mind you), pretty much is going to give them the impression that you want a future with said someone. Also, talking about future plans - kids, travelling, weddings, or references to "six months from now". Don't make promises you can't keep.
Cheating is wrong. Flirting with other women is wrong. Meeting a girl at a party for the first time (and your girlfriend was your date to said party) and then seeking her out on myspace and befriending her is wrong. You didn't know her before, what do you need to do, follow up?
- Gift Giving. Flowers, yes they are a nice thought definitely. But do you need to pick them up from [insert any place other than a flower shop here] every time? And yes, we can tell. We know you were there to pick up shaving cream and thought well it's our anniversary maybe I'll just grab one of these pre-made bouquets of flowers passing them off for fresh cut. She should be happy that she's even getting flowers. Uh, no this is not cool.
Oh the gift of a greeting card. Would it kill you to pick out a card with the word love mentioned somewhere? At least on Valentine's Day? "You're cool" or "Let's have sex" don't express love and devotion here guys. Get a clue.
It never hurts to surprise her when she's had a bad day or for no reason at all. Chocolates work. Or jewelry duh.
- Holidays. I know there are several "Hallmark" holidays out there that are pretty silly. Just play along. Valentine's Day, Sweetest Day (which is Saturday - yay! for me), etc. Just buy a damn card at least. You don't have to go all out, but it's the fact that you even thought about it that will make her smile.
- Emotions. Girls have them. They come on full force about once a month. And sometimes pop up on other occasions. Don't shrug them off. Comforting is necessary. Would it kill you to wrap her in a bear hug and let her cry on your shoulder? Or tell her everything will be OK? Or even just let her tell you everything that happened and get it all out -- you don't even have to respond, venting is therapy.
- Affection. Now don't get me wrong we don't want your paws all over us in public, but behind closed doors? Hell yes! A hug from behind, a kiss on the neck, brushing the hair from our face, kissing our forehead, holding our hand, snuggling close on the couch together. These are every day ways you can show your girlfriend/wife that you care about her. She'll appreciate you for it, trust me.
Hmm am I bitter much?
**p.s. - I'm thinking of putting together a breakup advice post to sort of help me through this whole shitty situation. If you sent me an email and you would rather me not put any of your words of advice in my post let me know. I won't be including names or personal stories for obvious reasons.