The Post That Has Been Avoided For Far Too Long

I know a few of you have caught on to my [maybe not so] subtle hints and it's only fair to dish (a little).

Since the breakup I have managed to bring my confidence level back up to where it should be. Probably higher than it's ever been. I'm not trying to be cocky in saying that, it's just that my entire life I have never had high self esteem. No one I have dated has made me feel confident about myself. In fact, most of the time I felt insecure. Afraid they were going to leave me. When I was thrown back out into the dating world I was pretty damn nervous. Let's just say it didn't take long for my self esteem to be restored.

At first there was FF. A fling. And a fun one at that. But he just doesn't get it. A girl needs to feel wanted. Pursued. Randomly texting about sports teams, the 10 point buck you shot over the weekend, or what movie you're currently watching is not going to win her affection. She may answer the phone on her lunch hour when you call (because yes it was that much fun), BUT that does not mean the next time you text she will respond. Maybe try calling again. Maybe she'll answer. As stated in yesterday's post, there will be no stringing along.

Then there was the guy I just wasn't into. Now he did everything I've ever wanted a guy to do. Walking me out to my car, kissing me, asking when he could see me again. Following up the next day with a text restating what a good time he had. Calling. Just to talk. But there was no spark for me. No butterflies. Dammit I wish there would have been. He was a cute one.

And if you haven't guessed already, there is someone new. Another C in fact (Actually now that I think of it, all the guys I've dated have been C's. How weird is that?). We went out again last night. And guys there are butterflies! I want to keep this private for the time being, but here a few key points:

-he's gorgeous
-he laughs at my jokes
-he doesn't mind that I hate beer
-we talked for four hours on our first date and he still wanted a second one
-he's a gentleman
-he let me pick the movie
-he complimented my outfit
-he listens to me, and then brings up things I've said in later conversations
-did i mention he's gorgeous?

I'm optimistic, but guarded. I'm not going to rush into anything, but I sure have been in a good mood as of late. I'm hoping for fireworks. Stay tuned.