Home For The Holidays

Today after work I'll be making the 4 hour drive home to Erie, Pennsylvania. The city where I was born and raised, smack dab in the middle of the snow belt. Remind me why again? Oh right it's Christmas weekend. Despite my ho-hum attitude towards the holidays this year, I really am excited to see my family and friends.

This will be my first Christmas in TEN YEARS that I've spent without a significant other by my side. It's going to be strange to say the least. But for once I'm not worried about whose family we're going to see which day and for how long, and ultimately who we're going to piss off. I get to be selfish and spend the whole 4 day weekend doing what I want to do.

I'll be staying at my dad's house. This is always a huge debate since the divorce. I always feel like I'm choosing sides or something. But my dad's house is the house I lived in from 8th grade through college and feels the most like home. My room is still painted the same lilac purple with navy stripes along the top of the wall. My canvases and drawing boards shoved under the bed. Sketch books and unfinished paintings in the closet. It's like being back in high school again. Like I never left.

Except at the end of the hall the room that used to be my parents' no longer houses my mom's abundant wardrobe and numerous perfumes. My stepmom lives there now and seeing her always brings me from my high school mind set back to reality. My brother won't be doing pull-ups on the bar hung in his doorway across the hall. I won't hear him grumbling when the alarm goes off. My stepsister (and probably her on again off again boyfriend) sleeps there during the holidays. Don't get me wrong, I love the new members of my family. It's just strange that there isn't a place that feels completely like home anymore. There are reminders around every corner that life has changed.

Sometimes I wish I could go back to Christmases past, especially ones when my grandfather was still alive.


My nose is a little beat up in this picture. I was 3 and apparently attempted to carry my favorite chair down the stairs on Christmas Eve, only to tumble to the bottom, chair first.

I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday weekend. Enjoy the time off of work, time spent with family from out of town, time reuniting with friends normally scattered across the country that will be home to celebrate, time recognizing how wonderful it is to be surrounded by people that love you. I know I will.

Merry Christmas!