Thursday, November 8, 2007

Will We Bump Carts At Giant Eagle?

I know you guys have given me all kinds of questions to answer. I'm going to get to them all I promise (trust me - I have 60 days of post topics to come up with)! But after reading Mike's wonderful proposal story earlier it got me thinking:

Where did you meet your current significant other/spouse?

I guess what makes me so nervous and scared about this whole break-up is the thought of never finding someone else. Or where the hell will I find someone else? Do I even want to be with anyone else right now? Will anyone compare to him? See what I mean? This is the kind of crap that runs through my head all day.

But really. "The one". Where will I find him? Will we bump carts in the frozen food section of Giant Eagle? Will he randomly compliment me as I walk to work? Will he be my waiter at Max & Erma's and write his number on the check? Maybe he'll find my blog, come to the conclusion that I'm the woman of his dreams and move across the country to Columbus, Ohio. What? It could happen.

So here's where you come in guys. Tell me your story. How did you meet your knight in shining armor (or for the guys your lady in red)? I'm not a bar hopping kind of girl and need some hope that the bar and work aren't the only places to find men nowadays.

For my fellow single bloggers, where do you go to meet guys/girls? Give a girl some pointers!

61 comments:

Miss M. said...

That's a toughy..I generally find it really hard to meet men in the Minneapolis/St. Paul area because I feel like men here are too chicken to ask a girl out and I'm to chicken to just approach a guy and ask him out.

I met BKE at a wedding and he's the one who asked me to dance, so I guess I can't complain about never meeting anyone at a wedding.

But, if you don't want to do the bar scene, maybe try: book stores, coffee shops, some sort of class (cooking, wine tasting, etc.), volunteering, online (don't knock it til you've tried it! i've met three people online and they were all decent people and not scary).

Have people set you up! Blind dates can be scary but also fun! And you never know who your friend's cousin's brother knows and could hook you up with!

Lisa said...

You're the preacher, I'm the choir. I.e., you tell me. We seem to have the same troubles.

Miriam said...

MMM Max & Erma's. How I miss thee.

To find my story type 'spagettios' into the search on my blog then read in reverse order.



http://lspoon.wordpress.com

Angela said...

I met Colby at school my freshman year of college and we started dating my junior year--so that's really no help to you whatsoever!!

However, during my six months of singledom last year, I met all of the guys I dated through friends. We'd go out and it seemed like there was always a new crop of guys coming out with us. It helps to have friends with hot guy friends!

Also, I've never tried it, but I've heard pretty good things about the online dating scene.

La said...

I met Andy through a mutual friend. She and I were roommates in college, and she works with him. We started our relationship online - we emailed for several months before we even met, and now, well, yah, I can't even believe we're getting married. Neither can my friend. And she's performing the ceremony!

JulyBug said...

I didn't find him. I was found, oh wow this is embarrassing, on Facebook. We went to school together but didn't know each other and based on my profile (cringe to the zillionith degree) he thought I was funny and cute, and we had the same taste in everything. He messaged me wittily, I replied wittily and 3 years later we are where we are.

While I am heartily embarrassed by how I met my dude, I think its a testament to how you don't look for love, love looks for you.

Corny AND embarrassing. Excellent comment if I do say so myself. Back to lurking.

thecasualperfectionist.com said...

Well, I hate to burst your bubble, but my hubby totally picked me up in a bar. It's true! I actually liked him enough to give him my real name and real number! (At that time, I had a fake name I used at the bars. I even had a fake number.)

I will say this (I think I told you in an email...), he found me when I was least expecting it. I'd actually made the conscious decision to be happy without a man in my life. (Like you, I'd gone through a pretty tough break-up, but I'd dated around and had decided that I was okay by myself.)

The night I told myself that was the night he picked me up at the bar. That was almost 11 years ago, and we're still going strong.

Funny how things work out. Things *will* work out for you!

Ellen said...

I met my boyfriend at a friend's Super Bowl party. Why is this novel? I don't like football... and neither does he. It wasn't like we were lurking in the background and suddenly found each other, though, we were crammed in on the couch with a few other friends. The other weird thing was that we had been introduced by the same friend who was hosting the party at a dinner 5 or 6 months earlier, but neither of us remembered.

I almost didn't go to the Super Bowl party, but caved because I was procrastinating on something else. So, procrastinate, that's my advice. :)

Banana said...

I met TM after a Dave Matthew's Concert. He came to the camp site with a mutual friend and I blatently and strategically positioned myself next to him all night.
*Fun Fact* I met him almost exactly a year to the day after I had my heart ripped out and stomped on by my exboyfriend.

She Likes Purple said...

I posted about how we met here:

http://www.shelikespurple.com/shelikespurple/2007/07/mike-proposed-t.html

But if it helps (maybe it won't) I don't believe that he's my "one" or my soulmate or the only person out there who can complete me. My husband was a decision I made. A commitment I made. And love isn't singular. I don't believe it only happens once and only with the one person it was meant to happen with. I believe it happens when we're exactly who we are and we meet someone who is exactly who they are (out loud) and we make choices to get to know each other, on a special level. And then you make the choice to commit. And it's hard and exhausting and sometimes perplexing but you believe that you made the right choice because you trust yourself.

I adore my husband. He didn't save me or fix me or give me purpose. He made me laugh. And I decided that I wanted to laugh with him forever. And so everyday, I choose him.

I ended our vows, almost six months ago, with the sentence: "You're the best decision I've ever made." And I believe that. I give myself (and him) credit for our relationship, and I won't let fate have any of our glory.

You will find love again. I have absolutely (not a smidgen or a sliver) of doubt.

nancypearlwannabe said...

Chris and I met through a friend on Facebook... or Friendster... or one of those sites. They're all the same, really. He lived six hours away in western NY and we dated long-distance for close to a year before he moved to Boston to be with me. His coming to visit me was always the BEST feeling. Until he moved here, then I got to have that best feeling every day.

Making my way in PA said...

How about Kindergarten? Can anyone beat that?

DG said...

C and I met at work. We were both working on a very popular Disney show and on my second day? I knew something was special about him. Something about the way he carried his walkie-talkie. LOL.

And Michelle, sweety, you will DEFINITELY find someone. I have NO doubt :)

cady said...

joe and i met through work. we were both cops reporters at different newspapers, and i emailed him one day because i was doing a story on something he had written about. we started talking and were friends for about two years. after we each went through two more relationships, we ended up going on a double date with a mutual friend. and that was that.

Jess said...

We met on Craiglist. He posted an ad, I responded. We emailed back and forth for a week and a half before we met up for lunch. You know how it goes from there.

And also, I don't believe that there is only one "the one," and I feel certain that you will meet at least one of your ones. And I am dying to find out how it happens.

blogging said...

1. i heart max&ermas. we're going to that one in millcreek when we get together. and eating tortilla soup. ok? ok good.

2. m & i met in a bar. while i was on vacation. and i had made friends with a local girl and went to said bar with her. and then his roommate hit on me. and then we started talking. and then he walked me to the car and kissed me on the forehead. three days later after texting we we spent a day together, and then i left. and then, we didn't talk for like, a year because we dated other people. and then i drunkenly sent him a text and talked to him about my upcoming visit. and he picked me up from the airport. we spent five days together, and now he's moving here.

yeah.....we're gonna have to formulate something for the kiddies one day.

i'm sorry, i got nothin.' except for the fact i sound like i'm six years old telling a story (and then...and then..)

but honestly michelle? there is no doubt in my mind you will be in love again, with someone who is the one. and stupid and cliche as it is, when i stopped looking for it? it came to me. (read the post where i was excited to go makeout with M and get my mind off of blue eyes and hot bartender.)

point of ridiculously long post: focus on you and what you want. and it will come. like that field of dreams thing...only you...are the field....or something....

ok. stopping now. love you. lots.

beingmccrary said...

My husband sat behind me in my 10th grade English class. But we didn't connect until 8.5 years later, when my brother who played hockey with my now husband told me that a guy on his hockey team knew me from high school and always thought I was cute. I went to meet up with the hockey team after one of their games but because I was still too preoccupied with the jerk who enjoyed crushing my heart(but, I let him), I never called my husband back even after I gave him my number. Then, one day short of a a year later, I saw him at a charity hockey game...playing. HELLO? What the hell was I thinking? And we have been together since. I just wasn't happy with myself the first time I met him and he even says that neither was he, but the next year we were both in a really good place in our lives and it just clicked. It will for you too. You'll see.

Ripe for Reading said...

Guilty. My husband found me at a bar...I thought he liked my friend. He thought the Red Sox was a good first date option. Turns out both weren't true. We do love the Sox, though.

I still believe that things happen when you least expect it, so get out there...go grocery shopping and get a drink at a bar with friends. You never know where you'll meet him, but just have fun in the process : )

Lisa said...

I hate to just repeat what people say, but seriously? When you least expect it, I SWEAR it will hit you like an avalanche. And it's going to be worth every. single. minute. of this and more.

P.S. I love that you're already thinking about finding The One. I heart you.

distracted spunk said...

Long story short, I had just been broken up with by D and was in need of boosting my self-esteem. Online dating sites are the best way to go.

I found GDB and he was super cute and funny and we exchanged ONE e-mail before exchanging screennames, talking for four hours the first night, three the second, two the third, meeting on the fourth and spending 20 hours together on our first date. I'll write about this someday. You know where I'm at now. So. Don't lose hope. Must stick head in sand, bye.

mcgee said...

i won't write it out here because our 3 year anniversary is on the 19th and you'll read the whole story then. but suffice it to say the internet was involved. =P

cp said...

you should check out the short north. ;o)

from your comment on my blog, it is hard. i went through the same thing, of finally being single for the first time this time last year. and it was hard. but to take that time and truly figure out who you are, by yourself, not who you are with someone else, is truly worth it. i have no regrets going through the sadness.

Heidi said...

You know, before boyfriend, I was back and forth with my ex who was no good for me. He was considering moving home from china to be with me andI probably would have ended up with him had it not been for meeting boyfriend.

I would never ever suggest this way of meeting a boy because the drama it caused was redonkulous - i met a girl last summer (2006) from a friend of mine, i was new in town and needed to meet new people. her and i became...friends i guess you could say. About a month and a half after i met her she introduced me to her ex. we went to dinner. him and i dominated conversation. i didn't think anything of it cause he was her ex. We'd talk online ocassionally, i wanted to find a job on the Hill and he worked there so he'd send me job listings etc...

i was seeing someone at the end of August, it ended the day of a snow patrol concert that friend and her ex had tickets to with a couple others. they invited me along and i agreed. The next day i was on the hill for the 9/11 vigil ceremony though i couldn't get in. Her ex called me and asked if i got in etc..i told him and asked if he wanted to get food. he said sure. i said how about chinese (as he was walking by) he said sure! So we had dinner. She started to get freaked out thinking he was going after me and i told her i wouldn't date her ex because i wasn't like that.

Two weeks later after him and i went for drinks after we all went to trivia (she had been invited but declined) we hung out while she was gone. all weekend. drinks. he kissed me saturday night. there was chemistry, there were sparks. there were butterflies. I couldn't deny it anymore, this was too good to be true.

She ended up breaking into my email one night at my house when we had dinner. I was cleaning up and she was going to send me something so i let her use it. My stuff was saved cause helloooo my computer. She rushed out a couple minutes later. I called up her ex/almost bf and warned him. she called him first. she gave me an ultimatum and i chose him. The next night he took me on our official first date and we've been inseparable ever since.

But being single isn't all that bad :) I was just talking to my single bff who lives in NC and we were talking about crushes. I kind of miss crushes - the ones who make you weak at the knees. (in college for me it was hockey players. all hockey players yummm) You'll find someone though, just live your life and he'll show up when you least expect it <3

Katelin said...

My boyfriend and I were best friends for six years before we starting dating last year. But we met through a mutual friend. In college I met some guys in the library and various parties, but hey that was college.

Princess Extraordinaire said...

I met my guy on the web - seriously - though the computer - and this was back when we all had prodigy and used real chat roms - not the spooky kind of today but the ones where people weren't preditorial..anyway it's long story but I plan on posting it so if you wnat to read more come on over and read! Michelle - we've been going stong for over ten years now so don't rule it out!

Tina Vaziri said...

I met my boyfriend in high school, we were really good friends. We dated for a short while when we graduated high school but then broke up because we went off to different colleges in different states. I ended up not getting much out of my school so I transfered to his school and 6 months after that we started living together.

I've never known where to meet guys unless it was through friends. But online, coffee shops, classes, and volunteering sound like fantastic places to meet someone!

tshirtandjeans said...

you'll meet them when you're not looking. happens every time ;)

L Sass said...

I met AS at a party through mutual friends. But I know lots of people who met: online, at a bar, through a hobby, at work, via a fix-up. You know, the usual.

I think the key is that if you're doing things that you enjoy doing, whether it be drinking to all hours at a bar or building houses for Habitat for Humanity, you're more likely to run into people who share your interests!

Stephanie said...

I met Mark through the boyfriends of my friends at a "Victoria's Secret" party. I used to work there in college and my friends were dating two of Mark's friends.

Agreed on what L Sass said - do things you enjoy doing and you will find a guy there doing the same things YOU enjoy doing! Seems pretty logical!

Marriage-101 said...

These comments are so fun to read!

Here's something that will get you even more excited about moving: I met my hubby on the basketball court of my old apartment complex. He lived in another building and was by himself shooting hoops. I was outside smoking a cig, and staring at my phone wishing it would ring with a call from the guy that had just dumped me. Here's the story: http://marriage-101.blogspot.com/2006/09/holy-two-years-batman.html

So my advice is, just get out. You don't have to go to a bar, but you could take a walk around your neighborhood. Or hit the gym. Go to Blockbuster instead of ordering movies online. Do whatever you can to get OUT among the public. And here's something easy to do: Go shopping! Visit a bookstore. Hang out in a coffee cafe (if that's your style). Don't just sit at home, unless of course you plan to meet someone on the Internet, which is fine, but I almost consider that the "easy" way.

libby said...

oooh great post. and um yeah. pass along any info you get...hahaha. i could use it ;)

Julie Q said...

in the basement of a Fraternity house party. How's that for odds on that couple getting married? :) at least he was a pledge, so that somehow makes it more classy in my eyes! ha

Katie said...

There are men everywhere - when you least expect it, you'll find him. So cliched, but so true. :)

As for me and Phill - we went to primary school together for a few years. We were aware of each other but never really met. He moved away, I moved away. Fast forward about six years and I was at university. A friend of mine knew Phill and I recognised the name. The friend gave me Phill's email address and we started talking on msn, then met up later.

Don't stress - you will find him when the time is right. Until then, try to enjoy being single and settling into your new place. *hug*

Graffiti Girl said...

hey - you might remember - sean and i met at a wake - lol. it can happen anywhere - and as one of your friends up there on the comment list alluded to - it happens when you aren't expecting it to happen at all....

ana said...

I met C at a wedding, we hated each other within five minutes of introduction. and five years later, we were madly in love :)

Tattler said...

The short answer is I "met" my boyfriend at our high school reunion. The long answer is much more complicated and involves a lot of alcohol. Anyway, we're moving in together in the spring. It's funny, but I always had a feeling that The One would be someone I already knew from my past, not a random guy I picked up in a bar.

PL said...

I met B on match.com. And I wasn't even a subscribing member! Long story. But yesterday marked two years together :)

Peter DeWolf said...

I can tell you that the place to meet women is NOT my town.

Trust me on that.

Lacey Bean said...

MySpace! Haha you probably saw my post about that one. Seriously though, Dave randomly messaged me after breaking up with his last girlfriend, and since he seemed "normal" enough, we decided to meet. And the rest is history! (After having our first kiss at a Santa Pub Crawl... hahahaha!)

You will find someone even better soon... it just happens when the time is right!

NWO said...

I agree with Jess: there is certainly more than one One. But I've met mine (1)when I rented a room from her, (2) online chats X 2.

Eve said...

I met my boyfriend at work.

Jenni said...

Great question Michelle! I'm going to have to read everyone's comments...for some pointers that is!

Hope all is well!

And for the record...I met the ex at work.

Slightly Disorganized said...

I keep going to grocery store hoping to meet HIM, but the only thing I find? Yeah, not the soup....

alyndabear said...

Whoa, look at all those comments! *is intimidated*

I met Jason on a band forum. No, seriously.

Daddy Dan said...

Can't help you, Michelle. My wife and I met at work. She actually worked for my Dad and he wanted me to meet her for a long time, but I didn't want to meet her. Who wants to be set up by their Dad?!? Long story short, I finally met her and the rest is history. So I guess my tip is don't be resistant to being set up by someone, even your parents.

grungedandy said...

Sorry another story get a cup of chocolate

Firstly I was totally off men at the time, I’d had a bad break up with a really cute guy the one who ticket all the boxes and who I had fallen quite hard for and who dumped me while I had surgery on my knee, over the phone & never sent my stuff back (still hasn’t) I’d just lent him money to get out of the army as the gulf war was about to happen and I really didn’t want him to go ( I never got the money back but I’m glade he got out). So I’d also booked a snowboarding hol with a pal to USA so I was short on cash, feeling really miserable so I went out and got another job in a pub. I know not what most people would do but I needed some money for the hol and I was just moping around at the weekend & all my friends had partnered up and I couldn’t bear it, so I worked the weekend got paid and had a laugh at the same time and I was too knackered to think about my lonely love life!
So R happened to be the very first punter to talk to me he said something cheesy but I didn’t really think anything of it, we got on really well and I had no idea he liked me until about 5 months later on (here comes the mushy stuff) Xmas eve he asked me out I was working up till midnight (Xmas day) so we went on our fist date on Xmas day at another pub just round the corner! My mum always says I got the Xmas present I was after a boy friend! We’ve been going out ever since 11years this Xmas! So don’t give up it happens when you least expect it.

Seeya hugya *G*

Kate said...

Reading these comments is taking me to all sorts of great stories!

Boy and I met at law school a few times in his final year. I kinda liked him (although I was with someone else) but didn't think much of it, and he was too busy thinking he was cool to pay attention to me.

Fast forward 2 years and we bump into each other at a mutual friend's goodbye party. He'd lived out of town for 18 months or so and had just moved back. He thought "woah!"

I had just broken up with a boyfriend because I'd fallen madly passionately in love with a lawyer from another office of our firm (yup, complications much). But something about Boy was just about enough to distract me from the other guy. Boy's friend didn't realise I'd broken up with the first guy, and told boy I was taken.

Then the other guy broke my heart, and my flatmate found out Boy was interested. Everyone conspired to set me up (and, to top it all off, by the time I got set up with Boy, another friend was trying to set me up with her hot flatmate).. finally, we got ourselves together and it's been smooth sailing since.

Ha- when I write it, it's so much more convoluted.

Passionista said...

Well I have the same dilemma as you. But what I've tried to do is join groups that have the same interests as me. I found a lot on meetup.com and even though I haven't met anyone yet I'm part of a book club and a city group that does excursions all over the city! I think it will come as a total surprise to you. I met the guy I'm dating at a work party!

stilettoheights said...

I met my knight in shining armor when I was 16 and he was 21, outside a theater in the dead of winter, we ended up dating many months later, he was my first love and it ended with absolute heartbreak, devastating rip out your young soul love.

we broke each others hearts on and off for years until we each decided to marry someone else in revenge...years later we find each other again, and realize that we are meant to be together, so here we are....16 years after we first met.

:)

Spunk said...

I met my knight at a friend's party. We had a mutual friend but never met. I had just broken it off with a guy who said, "Not ready for anything serious." Yeah we've all heard it.

My knight though was perfect. One of our first dates included distracting me at the local bookstore while he ran off to get seats at a restaurant nearby that sat overlooking a pond, a beachy jimmy buffett look-a-like playing music while we ate, and a walk through main street to admire the fountains.

Need I say that the wish I made in the fountain came true? :) ha

dreamgrrl said...

hi! #1 - dont worry, you'll find him "when youre not looking". thats what they always say, but its always true. so dont dwell, being you for a bit is a good thing too!
i met my man freshman year of college, we stayed best friends all throughout although he always wanted more. we graduated college and he moved to the city near me, and one day we decided to hang out & watch the OC (he only watched it to get girls i later found out - i think he secretly loved it) and next thing you know we're a couple, and engaged, living together in jersey. go figure!!
IT'LL HAPPEN!! :)
stay positive - and dont worry a bar probably isnt your #1 place to find the man of your dreams, but hey dont discount it!

All Mod Cons said...

If you get any decent tips, make sure you head my way to pass them on. It's weird, living in a city as big as London, it's incredibly hard to "meet" anyone. I've gone waaaay past the whole club/bar thing, and my faith in online stuff is very shakey. Maybe I should do more food shopping.

zandria said...

My boyfriend and I have an interesting "meeting story" (not that I would recommend this as a way for other women to meet a man, as you'll see).

I met my boyfriend when a drunk illegal Honduran immigrant slammed into the back of my car, and then abandoned his own car and ran away on foot. The police officer who responded to the incident is now my boyfriend. I wrote about the initial scenario here. :)

Samantha said...

Very single over here. I meet tons of guys on the internet. Also when you are out at a bar or something with your girlfriends, don't be shy, if you see a cute guy, just walk up and say hi. Nothing to lose, right?

zandria said...

Back again! Just wanted to let you know I quoted you in this post.

Roselia said...

At a bar. I was extremely drunk (didn't even remember what he looked like, but apparently I was quick - and forceful - about giving him my number). But the family friendly version of the story is that we share a mutual friend, so we would have met one day or another.

P.S. Love the blog! I myself am a Ohio native, so it's cool when I get to hear about places I actually know.

karen said...

i was the first person to meet my future husband online. it was january, 1995. a time of chat rooms and message boards. no "world wide web." i had read that my beloved tv show "my so-called life" was struggling in the ratings and might be cancelled. the thought depressed my 19 year old self something terrible so i got online (on my parents old mac perfoma!) and posted a very passionate list on some "save MSCL" message board about why the show shouldn't be cancelled. 600 miles away a 26 year old read what i wrote, felt the same way, and emailed me. we emailed/im'd nonstop until spring when we talked on the phone the first time. we met face-to-face in june, were engaged in july, and married the next january.

you know how people always say you'll find someone when you're not looking? i didn't believe it, but it's so true. i was just typing, and i ended up with a soulmate, husband, and father to my daughter.

i wish you the same.

Princess Pointful said...

I'm a firm believer in the whole friend of a friend thing.

I met the Duke at a concert. I actually go to school with his brother, who I had just had my first conversation with about two days prior. During the encore, I turned back for a look around, and saw his bro, so we all started talking. The three of us went out for drinks afterwards, and apparently the Duke developed a massive crush on me, because he got his brother to email me about a concert we'd talked about sort of haphazardly. We actually were just friends for a few months, though.

Anna said...

He moved out and I moved in—we had the same housemates in common.

I think the "through a friend" thing is so common and one of the best ways. Even accidentally through a friend which is what happened to me.

sassafras said...

I was pretty certain I was going to be 80 and unmarried. After I had officially split with my ex I spent 2 months being lonely. I'm a homebody so I decided to join a couple internet dating sites to see if anything would happen. I didn't like what I saw until my now husband winked at me. We had our first date a week later and spent every moment together after that.

I think it's true, when you stop trying to find him and are happy being by yourself he will come along...

t.b.f.love. said...

I met my husband on the first day of college, almost 4 and a half years ago. We dated a bit, then broke up, and then got back together for good - but I remember, so clearly, freaking out during the breakup - wondering where people meet other people, how was I going to meet another guy? I had no idea. Now, I meet people seemingly often - starting at a new school, moving to a new city, starting a new job, walking the dog... there are so many places & ways to meet people.

p.s. I just found your blog & I think I'm going to be reading for awhile!