Friday, November 9, 2007

I Can't Do This Anymore

I'm sick of pretending that I'm happy. Putting on a smile for the rest of the world. Fake it until you make it they say. I can't do it anymore you guys. I'm out of strength. I don't have any left.

I'm sorry I can't be more creative today. My family's coming this weekend to help me move. I'm hoping they'll be able to help me through this. I have a feeling many tears will be shed this weekend.

And I have to say goodbye to these cute faces forever:


35 comments:

She Likes Purple said...

It's not fair that you have to say goodbye to the dogs. Breaks my heart.

Miriam said...

That's rough sweetie. And we don't expect you to be made of stone. You're human just like the rest of us.



http://lspoon.wordpress.com

thecasualperfectionist.com said...

Oh, Michelle! You'll get through this. You *are* strong. It's possible to be sad and angry and disappointed and still be strong. Let it all out. Don't hold back the tears. I know it's hard to see right now, but you will get through this...

*BIG HUG*

Tina Vaziri said...

I'm so sorry you have to say goodbye to those cuties. :( Don't put on a happy face if you are not feeling it. It will happen when the time is right, and you will be happy again.

Angela said...

I'm so sorry :( Take care of yourself and let yourself heal in your own way. We don't expect you to be superhuman, sweetie. I'm glad your family will be there for you.

distracted spunk said...

If we thought you were happy all the time, we'd probably a) hate you, and b) wonder what secrets you're not telling. It's the nuances of everything you experience that make you who you are. Keep being lovely. Be yourself. Don't worry about us.

Kristen said...

sorry you have to say good bye to them. does your new condo allow pets? a cuddly kitty may be just what you need right now. i know mine does wonders for me when i've had a hard day.

i'm happy you will have support this weekend while you move. my co-worker is going through the same thing, also moving this weekend.

keep us posted.

Marriage-101 said...

It's okay. No one expects you to be happy right now. Once you're all moved and settled, things will eventually start to get easier. But not this weekend. And that's okay. Glad your family is coming to help you. Wish I could. ::Hugs!::

Jenni said...

Oh Michelle...I'm so sorry. I had to leave my 2 kitties behind...and I miss them everyday. It's really hard, but trust me, it really does get better...

It will be nice to have you family around...that helps too.

I'm here for you if you want to talk...

Lisa said...

ditto everybody. i go through long really sad periods without a major break up in my life. things always cheer up, though

Heidi said...

1. You'll get through this all <3
2. It is a damn shame cause those puppies are damn cute\
3. you'll get through this (did i mention that??)
4. don't fake it. family and friends are the ones that you shouldn't have to fake it for. They're not going to judge you or scold you. They're the ones who are going to be there through the end.

<3

molly said...

I'm so glad you have your family to help you through it. Remember, you are strong and one day it will get easier.

You don't have to pretend on our behalf, you know.

Virginia said...

Sometimes you just have to have a good cry, and it doesn't mean you're a weak person. It's part of the healing process. (And look on the bright side--there are LOTS of cute midwestern guys in the Giant Eagles here in Columbus! Including ones named Ben and Jerry!)

Katelin said...

I agree with Virginia, I think a good cry will definitely help and at least your family will be there too. You can get through this :)

*kb* said...

You had to bring out the puppy pictures didn't you. :-( I'm crying with you as I know how much it hurts and I know I never believed people when they said it would get better, but it did and it will for you too. It's ok to be sad and cry, infact it's healthy and you need to feel it, even though it hurts like nothing else. (((HUGS)))

blogging said...

oh pumpkin. its just not fair. i'm so sorry.and i second what molly says. really, despite our chats.

i heart you. lots. here's my shoulder if you need to have a good cry :(

....see? right there. just for you.

All Mod Cons said...

Don't fake it, it's not worth it. Vent, rant, cry, whatever it takes. Letting it out is MUCH healthier than trying to keep it all bottled up.

Josh Boldman said...

My wife and I recently had to give up our beagle puppy named "Boogers." It was awful, so we definitely know what you're going through, but if there's any encouragement to be had, just know that you'll always have the memories.

And as for "fake it till you make it," that's just the worst advice I've ever gotten either. Who would ever think that if you just act like you're happy, you'll just magically become happy? That's just awful. So, know that it's ok to not be happy all the time. Perhaps that's the first step?

Josh Boldman
www.joshboldman.com

ana said...

Its hard isn't it? But I'm sure you have the strength to get past it...don't smile if you heart is not yet willing to, its OK to be sad, till sadness wears itself out.

The Mouse said...

It's all just shit, isn't it? (this coming from someone who never swears in blogging). But, it's true. It sucks, especially that you have to leave behind those two cuties.

I've done it. It was really hard. It was total shit. But the pain did soften as the months past. Keep crying if you need to.

Sara said...

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww *HUGS* I'm sorry you have to give up your babies. That's so wrong. :( Do you get to visit them at least?

I never thought you were always happy, I just thought you were human.

Lisa said...

I am officially the worse advice-giver ever. LOL. For what it's worth, it wasn't for our sake, love. Don't even think about how we would react if you broke down. Like we've all said before, this is all normal, and you will have to go through all of this. Nobody's going away because you're human. If anything, we love you even more for it.

Julie Q said...

I'm a huge dog advocate. Those dogs are just adorable. So sad. You need your own dog now, it'll make life SO awesome.... thats the best advice anyone could give or get :)

MLM said...

I found your blog from Marriage101 and don't know the whole scoop except I gather that your boyfriend just broke up with you. I'm sorry that you're sad. Broken hearts are no fun. (BTW, I've read that book you're reading and it's got some good stuff in there.)

I just read this quote recently, something to the effect of, "No boy is worth crying over; and the one who is, won't make you cry."

So here's to the boy who's worth it...hang in there.

libby said...

with a face like gracie's...you have every right to stop pretending to be happy. let it all out this weekend, and you'll get your closure once you've settled into your new place. promise.
HUGS.

rachel said...

I'm so sorry about your puppies. :( I know how much you love them.

but i'm so excited for the condo. i can't wait to see pictures!

QueenBee said...

Girl. My heart breaks for you every single day. I heart you, and you're too great to go through something like this.

Hope said...

Hon, you don't have to pretend to us. I hope you know that. I--for one--do not expect you to be happy so soon.

Be patient, ride this shitty wave and one day you won't have to fake it anymore. You'll have made it. :)

xx

sweetanemone said...

i'm sorry about the dogs & cats. i know you have fond memories of them you will take forever!

ana is right. it's fine to feel sad. of course you do, and it's perfectly normal. and while you may not believe it now, you honestly will get to a point where you tire of being sad, and you make an effort to feel happy. this isn't an effort that's on the outside like putting on a brave front, but one that comes from within you. and i look forward to seeing you reach that day :)

in the meantime, feel what you feel, it's all part of that amazing thing we call life xoxo

grungedandy said...

Oh s**t this soooo sucks I’m sorry your having to go through all this! It’s ok to cry who ever told you it wasn’t is stupid, I know it doesn’t seem like it ever will, but it will get better just keep on hanging in there, you can do it! We all believe in you!

Seeya hugya believeinya! *G*

Spunk said...

seriously the cutest dogs...sorry that you're going through a hard time. things will get better..they have to. But be excited...a whole new life means a whole new start.

Slightly Disorganized said...

you are doing so much better than you think you are. :) Keep at it. Soon you won't feel like you are faking it.

Katie said...

That must be really difficult to do - I'm so sorry that you have to go through that. Soon your smile will be real and it won't hurt. *hug*

brandy said...

Break ups suck. And the fact that you are having to leave those dogs- also sucks. But here is what I promise you- that you just need to keep going and one day you will find that you don't need to fake being happy. You just will be. So until that day comes, keep going. You, my friend, are doing great.

karen said...

hope you can visit those sweet babies.