Plank Position Is A Bitch (And Other Things I've Learned From Jillian Michaels)

Fifteen days ago I became a Shred Head (here's proof). In other words, I've let Jillian Michaels, a trainer from The Biggest Loser, tell me what to do for the past 2 weeks+.

I decided to tackle the "30 Day Shred" for a few reasons: its 'lose up to 20 lbs.' tagline, the fact that I will be taking a beach vacation and wearing a bikini in the beginning of May, and because I have seen many other bloggers have success (with pictures to prove it!) on this program.

I am officially halfway through and sadly have little to show for it. I took measurements and pictures on day 3. I've lost about 2 pounds and a few tenths of an inch around the thighs and waist. I'm not discouraged yet, but I am beginning to wonder why I haven't had the results that others have had so far.

I do notice that my endurance has greatly improved (although, I started Level 2 a few days ago and am still struggling to keep up). I've developed visible muscles in my arms and have moved on from the "girlie" push-ups. And surprisingly, I actually look forward to working out every day. So, definitely improvement.

A few phrases that make me want to punch Jillian Michaels in the face:

• Get down in plank position.
• There is no modified version of this move, I have 400 lb. people that can do jumping jacks.
• Just think about going jean shopping.
• Give me a couple more.

If Jillian isn't the devil, I am going to be so screwed in hell.

Since I started the shred, I have been trying to eat healthier in addition to working out every day. I have increased the protein and fiber in my diet, have cut back on carbs and eat vegetables like they're going out of style. I never thought I'd become a drinker of protein shakes that's for sure. For anyone that drinks them, what brand/flavor do you buy? I started with a vanilla whey powder, but the strong smell was a huge aversion. A friend of mine told me to switch to the soy powder to help with the smell. He was right it doesn't have the bad aroma, but he failed to mention it tastes like chalk! I know it's important to increase the protein in your diet when you are exercising regularly, but I'm not sure where to go from here. Suggestions? Any other advice about diet/meal plans?

And to my fellow shred heads: am I expecting too much at this point in the program?

On Sports & My Future Husband

It's no secret, I'm not much of a sports fan. Sure, I enjoy a live game every once in awhile, but only in really good company, with someone that isn't afraid to talk during the game, at a venue where I can order a beer and a soft pretzel with cheese.

I'm not one of those girls that doesn't understand sports, however. I know why a football team might attempt a two-point conversion, that a hockey game has 3 periods and a foul bunt attempt when the batter has 2 strikes is a strikeout. But sports just don't interest me enough to watch them on television IN MY SPARE TIME. Come on, shows like How I Met Your Mother and Big Bang Theory are on Monday nights. Do you think I'd rather watch Monday Night football?

Living in a city that bleeds scarlet and gray (i.e. college football), I am confronted with the sports topic quite often. Usually I create a diversion because I don't want to be stoned to death for not being a die-hard Ohio State fan. In fact, I don't even have a "favorite" sports team.

Why? Because I have a theory.

When I meet the man I'm going to marry, I've decided I will adopt his favorite team(s) as my own. Once we're married and I know I'm going to be watching sports, at least on occasion, I might as well root for the team(s) that he likes, right? Why add something else to the list of things to potentially fight about since we all know he probably won't take out the garbage or put down the toilet seat?

This doesn't mean I'd compromise anything fundamental about myself to appease a man, but when it comes to sports I'm pretty neutral. It would be an easy compromise on my part and isn't that what marriage is all about? Compromise and getting involved in each other's interests?

Besides, knowing my luck, my future husband is a Wolverine (OSU's biggest rival for those that don't know). What a waste of time it would be to start backing the Buckeyes now...

For those of you that are married or in a relationship, do you and your significant other like the same teams? My fellow single ladies, what do you think of my theory? And for the guys that read this, I'm sure you'll tell me your opinion any way :)

I'm Not Gonna Write You A Love Song

From my last post (and part 2 that is coming soon), you've probably gathered I've had to break off a few "relationships" lately. Some of you have asked me (after seeing certain Facebook status messages) to share my methods.

Last fall, when I was single for the first time in a long time, I had absolutely NO clue how to end things appropriately with someone I was just casually dating. I've since had some practice and have a few guidelines that I follow, appropriate or not... I'm sure you'll tell me (especially the few male readers I have).

1. The Fade Away: This is when you completely stop responding to all communication, hoping the guy will eventually get the hint that you aren't interested in pursuing a relationship anymore. It's not the nicest thing to do, but if there is no emotional connection it's sometimes the easiest.
   
   My rule of thumb: I only do this with guys I've had one date with. It has the potential to severely backfire otherwise.
   
   
2. The Text Message: I believe this is an acceptable way to end things with someone you've had only a few dates with, and also have used text messaging as a means of communication with before. If he sends you a message about getting together again sometime, the Fade-Away would be pretty rude considering you've been out more than once, which is normally perceived as being interested. So, the polite thing to do is to let him know that you aren't feeling it anymore. It can be tricky because you're normally limited to 160 characters. Keep it short, simple and to the point.
   
   My drafted response: I'm not really feeling a spark between us that should be there at this point. I hope you understand. Take care.
   
   
3. The E-Mail: I find this to be the best approach when you find you get nervous or can't say what you really mean when face-to-face. Or, when you know you wouldn't be able to go through with it if you saw them in person again.
   
   Courtesy of my IBFF:
   
   Dear ______,
   
   I wanted to thank you again for the __(insert date location and activity here)___ the other night. It has been great getting to know you these past few (weeks, hours, days - pick one.) I do, however, feel that our connection is more of a friendship than a romance. Perhaps I am being presumptuous, and you may have felt that way too? Either way, thank you again, and I wish you the best.
   
   Sincerely,
   ________
   
   
4. In Person: Yes, if you've been seriously dating and have an emotional connection with them, it is the right thing to do to break-up face-to-face. Do you really want to be perceived as a cold, heartless bitch?

Have anything to add? Share your methods in the comments if you want.


Disclaimer: If the guy has been a complete and total asshole, there is no need to follow any of the above guidelines. In fact, knee him right in the family jewels. That should send the message loud and clear. (Only kidding!) ... ;)