I'm Not Gonna Write You A Love Song

From my last post (and part 2 that is coming soon), you've probably gathered I've had to break off a few "relationships" lately. Some of you have asked me (after seeing certain Facebook status messages) to share my methods.

Last fall, when I was single for the first time in a long time, I had absolutely NO clue how to end things appropriately with someone I was just casually dating. I've since had some practice and have a few guidelines that I follow, appropriate or not... I'm sure you'll tell me (especially the few male readers I have).

1. The Fade Away: This is when you completely stop responding to all communication, hoping the guy will eventually get the hint that you aren't interested in pursuing a relationship anymore. It's not the nicest thing to do, but if there is no emotional connection it's sometimes the easiest.
   
   My rule of thumb: I only do this with guys I've had one date with. It has the potential to severely backfire otherwise.
   
   
2. The Text Message: I believe this is an acceptable way to end things with someone you've had only a few dates with, and also have used text messaging as a means of communication with before. If he sends you a message about getting together again sometime, the Fade-Away would be pretty rude considering you've been out more than once, which is normally perceived as being interested. So, the polite thing to do is to let him know that you aren't feeling it anymore. It can be tricky because you're normally limited to 160 characters. Keep it short, simple and to the point.
   
   My drafted response: I'm not really feeling a spark between us that should be there at this point. I hope you understand. Take care.
   
   
3. The E-Mail: I find this to be the best approach when you find you get nervous or can't say what you really mean when face-to-face. Or, when you know you wouldn't be able to go through with it if you saw them in person again.
   
   Courtesy of my IBFF:
   
   Dear ______,
   
   I wanted to thank you again for the __(insert date location and activity here)___ the other night. It has been great getting to know you these past few (weeks, hours, days - pick one.) I do, however, feel that our connection is more of a friendship than a romance. Perhaps I am being presumptuous, and you may have felt that way too? Either way, thank you again, and I wish you the best.
   
   Sincerely,
   ________
   
   
4. In Person: Yes, if you've been seriously dating and have an emotional connection with them, it is the right thing to do to break-up face-to-face. Do you really want to be perceived as a cold, heartless bitch?

Have anything to add? Share your methods in the comments if you want.


Disclaimer: If the guy has been a complete and total asshole, there is no need to follow any of the above guidelines. In fact, knee him right in the family jewels. That should send the message loud and clear. (Only kidding!) ... ;)