Tuesday, September 30, 2008

We're Talking Mortifying Here Folks

When you are just getting to know someone, you go through the standard "getting to know you" questions: favorite food, type of music, #1 fear, etc. The question that would always leave me stumped was "What is your most embarrassing moment?". Nothing flat-out mortifying had ever really happened to me... until yesterday.

I was picking up flyers for a freelance job on my way to work. I paid the cashier, lifted the heavy cardboard box and carried it to my car. From there I drove to the parking garage where I unloaded the box, my ridiculously large work tote and headed to work. Up two flights of stairs, crossing a street, walking through the first floor of a mall, finally winding up at the lobby of my office building and getting on the elevator. I see my reflection in the elevator doors as I get on...

My pencil skirt had split up the back right above the slit... I unintentionally flashed America (and probably a co-worker or two).

There are some skirts that you just can't bend in to pick up a large cardboard box and apparently I was wearing one of them. How I didn't notice? I have no idea. But I quickly remedied the situation by standing against the back wall of the elevator, practically running out when I reached my floor (avoiding people at all costs), grabbing a sweater from my co-worker's desk who luckily wasn't in yet, tying it around my waist, and driving back home to change.

Looking on the bright side: 1.) At least I had on cute panties; 2.) You could barely see them, it was mostly all leg; 3.) Further proof to Each that I have a booty.

Horribly embarrassing? Yes. But I sure am laughing about it now!

Care to share an embarrassing moment of your own? I swear I'll laugh with you, not at you.

30 comments:

Katyn said...

a stripper bitch-slapped me with her right breast this weekend.

i'm serious.

rachel said...

u were with me in a similiar situation at christas wedding. case of the ride up dress.

but i think yours beats that. aah!!

Maxie said...

Oh dear. I once split my jeans at the mall and somehow managed to next door and buy a pair of sweat pants without blinking an eye. Now I'd probably freak the eff out.

Ben said...

I was wearing new pants one day and realized that my fly was down only because it was gaping open to the point of letting air breeze against my thigh.

I didn't even know they could open that far.

Luckily, I wear underwear and was therefore not arrested.

Sara Jane said...

I have too many of these stories to count...

Most recently, I was out running with a few friends and we passed a cute boy with his dog. I asked my friend if she saw how adorable he was. Little did I know he had stopped walking and I was shouting over my iPod so loud I'm sure the entire neighborhood heard me! I now see this boy around everywhere!

graffiti.girl.designs said...

oh that is too funny.

my own embarassing story. gee i can't imagine where to begin. here is the one i thought of right away...

when i was in charge of ambassadors (for everyone else, that would be a group of 70 undergrads in charge of putting on the best face of the school) i stood in front of the group at a meeting in a lecture style room, aka stadium seating, so everyone could see me with my fly down for almost an entire meeting i was leading. when there was a pause in the meeting the vp whispered to me that my fly was in fact down. awesome.

willtherebecake said...

In high school, a similar situation happened to me. They were my only pair of Abercrombie & Fitch pants and somehow they split sometime before first hour. I mean a split from the back of my thigh to my butt crack. My entire ass was hanging out and I didn't notice it until I sat in my first hour chair and noticed the seat felt cold. Thankfully, I had driven to school that day so I skipped 2nd hour to go home and change. I'm guessing no one had noticed b/c of my backpack, but still...mortifying!

willtherebecake said...

In high school, a similar situation happened to me. They were my only pair of Abercrombie & Fitch pants and somehow they split sometime before first hour. I mean a split from the back of my thigh to my butt crack. My entire ass was hanging out and I didn't notice it until I sat in my first hour chair and noticed the seat felt cold. Thankfully, I had driven to school that day so I skipped 2nd hour to go home and change. I'm guessing no one had noticed b/c of my backpack, but still...mortifying!

willtherebecake said...

In high school, a similar situation happened to me. They were my only pair of Abercrombie & Fitch pants and somehow they split sometime before first hour. I mean a split from the back of my thigh to my butt crack. My entire ass was hanging out and I didn't notice it until I sat in my first hour chair and noticed the seat felt cold. Thankfully, I had driven to school that day so I skipped 2nd hour to go home and change. I'm guessing no one had noticed b/c of my backpack, but still...mortifying!

willtherebecake said...

Whoops, sorry. Got a little trigger happy with the submit button.

The Dutchess of Kickball said...

I was trying to reach for a pen that had fallen on the floor during a class in college, and my entire chair/ desk contraption totally flipped over, and I was completely stuck in it and couldn't get out. Now that was embarrassing.

each of the two said...

Im guessing the office was NOT ready for that jelly?

Yoda said...

On the plus side, you have this (relatively) harmless story to tell on first dates when they ask you the "most embarrassing" question! :-)

Finger Talks said...

oh i am the queen of horrible things happening to me. Here's a vintage from high school:
It was the end of the pep rally and everyone was jumping off the top bleacher in the back. I forgot i still had a back pack on, so when i jumped it got caught on the beams and I was hanging in the air from the top of the bleachers. All my friends were like.. um how are you flying? I slipped out of my backpack, fell to the floor and the backpack unlatched and fell on my head! Ya that was a great day!

Sarah said...

In high school I went to the beach with my best guy friend. A giant wave came and when I looked down my entire top had shifted sideways and my boobs were hanging out. I swear he saw but he insists he didn't.

Upside, we're married now so he sees them all the time.

Jess said...

I've never had an embarrassing moment like that, thank god. Although now you've shown me that it's never too late!

Katelin said...

oh man that totally would have happened to me too.

as for one of my most embarrassing. freshmen year of college i had just met some senior boys and felt uber cool, as i walked away i tripped on my own freaking feet. they laughed in the distance. and i turned to take a bow and laugh it off with them. i. was. mortified. haha.

Lacey Bean said...

Oh that's great! My wearing a pink bra under my light grey t-shirt last year was almost as good. :)

pinksundrops said...

Carrying a sleeping baby in a stroller with a basket of laundry down a flight of stairs as a meeting at the hotel we were staying at let out about fifty people coming the opposite direction as the laundry including my BRAS and UNDERWEAR fell all over the stairs. Only one person stopped to help to pick it all up too. Horrifying really.

Annie said...

Looove the pencil skirts! I will never do any lifting in mine now, though. Thank you!

I think my most embarrassing moment had to be last fall when I thought a man was trying to abduct me by climbing in the front seat of my car at a gas station when, in reality, he was trying to tell me I had left my purse on the roof of my car. Probably the biggest scene I've ever caused in my life!

ChasingParadise said...

Oh, Michelle! Damn that pencil skirt. lol! At least you were able to go home. At least it's not like that day where I spilled a completely full glass of iced tea in my lap during lunch with my boss! She wouldn't let me go home to change! Beeyotch!

My most embarrassing moment? I was 16 when EVERYTHING is embarrasing, and I was in the ocean with my cousin with my back to the waves (IDIOT!) and I was commenting on how cute this one boy was who was about 10 feet away. Then I saw the look of total fear on my cousin's face, turned around, and WHAM. A wave knocked me under. I stood up, TOPLESS, and freaked out. My top? Oh, it was right in front of the cute boy. Who swam over and handed it to me. With a HUGE grin on his face! lol MORTIFIED!

cdp said...

I was wearing a very tailored, well fitted satin sleeveless top with an empire waist and a low neckline at work one day (UNDER a suit jacket). Apparently it was a little more fitted than I remembered, because when I leaned over to pick up a pen I'd dropped, I notice that the seam at the shoulder on the right side had split, and the entire top right side of the shirt was hanging down around my rib cage. I have no idea how long it was like that.

Awesome.

Larissa said...

Glad you had cute panties AND caught it before someone else had to tell you.

Erica said...

I was living with a host family while on a summer work exchange in Quebec, and got attacked by the new pet bird my host family had gotten a few weeks earlier. Not only was I running around the house screaming being attacked by this bird, but I ran into the bathroom to seek a safety and ... I slammed the door on the bird and ... I killed it.

Hands down the most embarrassing, awful, heartless thing I have ever done. Ever.

When I called him crying to talk to one of my sisters about it they happened to be having a party and my sis (a little tipsy) laughed at me on the phone and announced to all her friends what I had just done. Through my tears I had to listen to all those people laugh at me! I've since forgiven her, but to this day I am petrified of all things bird-related.

Leah (www.fiveblondes.com)
(Not Erica)

Erica said...

*called HOME, not him!

Dolce said...

Hey! Cute panties always win. I know your skirt ripping sucked, but believe me...it could be way worse.

Trust me!

Stacie said...

you poor thing. HUGS.

Therapeutic Ramblings said...

Glad you have a story!!

(I didn't realize I was this far behind in my blog reading!)

sour said...

oh gosh i have a billion of these. i'm the queen of embarassing myself.
since everybody seems to be talking about high school, here's one of my own:
i finally got the cutest boy in school to be my boyfriend, you know the one, the skateboarder with the dyed green goatee
(haha)
anyway, we were in the basement watching a movie, and somehow my braces got caught on the couch just as we were about to have our first kiss. so...yes, my face was stuck to the arm of the couch.
awful.
this actually reminds me of the website fmylife.com, it's hilarious

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