So I found out that my brother and his girlfriend are having a girl! I'm going to have a niece!!! And she's due right around my birthday so that's exciting too.
Holy cow my little brother is going to be a dad...
I don't know why but this whole situation makes me feel ancient. Grown up. Is this really happening? I guess I always thought I'd be the first. The first to settle down. Get married. Have children. I don't want to say I'm jealous, because the situation for him isn't ideal and I'm nowhere near ready for that kind of responsibility, but it just feels odd. Why is it that we believe our lives and the lives of the people we love have to follow a certain path and if we stray off that path things just don't seem right?
I remember the call when he first told me he was going to be a father. I was sitting on the bed watching something on TV, drinking a caramel apple spice from Starbucks that Clancy had brought home for me, unsure of where my life was headed. I was sad about the breakup, sad that he may never be part of my life again. There I was being selfish, thinking about me while my brother was probably nervous, scared and excited all at the same time. I wasn't there for him like I should have been and I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for the reaction I had.
"Did you guys plan this? What are you going to do?"
Horrible, right? That was months ago, and we've had conversations about it since. I've been the supportive sister and aunt-to-be that I should have been in that first phone call. I've told him I'll support him and his new family as much as I possibly can. I've told him I'll be the best godmother that anyone could ask for. Because I will.
I love my brother to death and I can't wait to share in this huge moment in his life. I will be right by his side as fast as my Scion will take me when I get that phone call. And you know what? I can't wait.