Thursday, October 25, 2007

A Simple Explanation

Yesterday, via Google chat.

Me: i mean it's his day off. why hasn't he called me?
Me: details, details

Currently cycling through my playlist:
(Thought I'd share my own list of the music that has made me smile, cry, laugh, and want him back all within the same hour. Also, thank you to everyone who shared their breakup playlists with me. Some of those songs have really helped.)

Janis Joplin - Piece of My Heart
Didn't I make you feel like you were the only man, well yeah. And didn't I give you nearly everything that a woman possibly can? Honey, you know I did! And each time I tell myself that I, well I think I've had enough. But I'm gonna show you, baby, that a woman can be tough. I want you to come on, come on, come on, come on and take it. Take another little piece of my heart now, baby. Break another little bit of my heart now, darling, yeah.
--Not that there's much left of it.

Rascal Flatts - Winner at a Losing Game
Have you ever had to love someone that just don't feel the same? Tryin' to make somebody care for you the way I do is like tryin' to catch the rain. And if love is really forever, I'm a winner at a losin' game.
--Exactly my life or what?

Garth Brooks - More Than a Memory
People say he's* only in my head. Gonna take time but I'll forget. Say I need to get on with my life. What they don't realize is when you're dialing 6 numbers just to hang up the phone. Driving cross town just to see if he's* home. Waking a friend in the dead of the night just to hear her* say it'll be alright. When you're finding things to do at night, not fall asleep. Know he* will be there in your dreams. That's when he's* more than a memory.
--Time. That's what everyone keeps telling me. Why do I still see his face when I close my eyes?

Joshua Radin - Only You
Looking from the window above. It's like a story of love. Can you hear me? Came back only yesterday. Who went further away. Want you near me. All I needed was the love you gave. All I needed for another day. And all I ever knew. Only you.
--...will make me happy again.

Ben Harper - Another Lonely Day
Wish there was something I could say or do. I can resist anything but temptation from you. But I'd rather walk alone than chase you around. I'd rather fall myself than let you drag me down.
--Ben I think you've read my mind.

Roy Orbison - Crying
But it's true, so true. I love you even more than I did before. But darling, what can I do? For you don't love me and I'll always be crying over you, crying over you. Yes now you're gone and from this moment on, I'll be crying over you.
--Some days it feels like the crying will never end.

Tricia Yearwood - Heaven, Heartache and the Power of Love
And my old flame said "I hate to break it to you darlin' I was born the leavin' kind." Left me standin' in the dark cryin' why baby, why baby, why? I've got to keep lovin' and livin' and learnin' and burnin', movin' on down the road.
--"Why?" won't leave my head.

Jack Johnson - Sitting, Waiting, Wishing
Well if I was in your position I'd put down all my ammunition. I'd wondered why'd it taken me so long. But Lord knows that I'm not you. And If I was I wouldn't be so cruel 'cause waiting on love ain't so easy to do. Now I was sitting waiting wishing that you believed in superstitions. Then maybe you'd see the signs. But Lord knows that this world is cruel and I ain't the Lord, no I'm just a fool. And in loving somebody don't make them love you.
--No, no it doesn't. Jack, you are right on.

Sugarland - Something More
Some believe in destiny, and some believe in fate. I believe that happiness is something we create. You best believe that I'm not gonna wait. 'Cause there's gotta be something more.
--There's gotta be something more to life than heartache. Right?

Joe Nichols - Brokenheartsville
Here's to the past, they can kiss my glass. I hope he's* happy with her*. Here's to the boy*, who wrecked my world, that angel who did me in.
--And by her I mean the imaginary future her. Whoever she is, I hate her.

Dierks Bentley - Every Mile A Memory
Every mile, a memory; every song, another scene. From some old movie going back in time you and me. Every day, a page turned down; every night, a lonesome sound. Like a freight train rollin' through my dreams.
--My mind has been taking me back. It's like a movie playing every night in my dreams, hoping that when I wake up he'll be lying next to me.

Brad Paisley - Ticks
I'd like to walk you through a field of wildflowers. I'd like to check you for ticks.
--Not really related to breakups, but it makes me smile every time I hear it. And the fact that I still have this text message saved: "I'd like to check YOU for ticks ;)"

*Pronouns were changed to fit my situation. Joe Nichols and Garth Brooks are not homosexual. Not that there's anything wrong with that of course.

And thanks Clink for your post today. It made me realize that there is a love like that out there somewhere waiting for me, small fights and all.


These Little said...

I'm glad you're able to laugh at yourself. I think that always helps. xoxo

Jess said...

I'm glad things still make you feel happy and hopeful. At that there are so many songs out there to which you can relate. Relating is always good.

Miriam said...

do me a favor and look for Robert Plant and Allison Kraus' new song "Sister Rosetta Goes Before Us" It's different and I think you'll like it. It will also give you a faint's neato :)

Stephanie said...

I like country music and everything, BUT Brad Paisley singing about TICKS?! Umm a little redneck for my taste. :)

You sound like you're doing okay, considering the situation. Keep your chin up and keep leaning on all of us in blog-world for support and you'll be fine!

La said...

You do sound like it's getting better every day, and the point where you can laugh about it means real progress. I wish I had the guts to speak like Sarah to my sister, because that's probably exactly what she needs! Hang in there, kiddo. You're doing great :)

The Lisa Show said...

You're doing great, love. You're laughing again, and you're hopeful. That someone's going to find you when you least expect it, I promise, and it's going to be all sorts of beautiful and right.

nancypearlwannabe said...

Ha! Too funny. I don't know any of the country songs on your list, but it seems that the whole stereotype of country telling sad and terrible stories is holding true for you. :)

elysa said...

idea ... lets actually make breakup cds and send them to each other. reading about music is not nearly as fun as rockin' out to it.

Margo said...

Check out Faith Hill's "Better Days." It's a pretty old one, but one of my favorite sing-along-in-the-car-when-I'm-blue songs. Good luck with everything...looks like you've got a lot of great people there to support you!

Katelin said...

I think songs always make me feel better, and your playlist looks like a wonderful way to cope. It'll get better :)

Ashley said...

details, details...hahaha

Tina Vaziri said...

I like that your sidebar now says "WAS in love", your taking good steps in the right direction!

onebigholiday said...

Now i have to download all of these songs:)

*kb* said...

Hey Michelle, I stumbled upon your blog through one of our blog connections, not sure which one now, but I just wanted to say hang in there and it does get better. Trust me, I know how much it hurts and sucks and all that crap. I wish there was something we could do, but sadly someone decided we have to go through heartbreaks on our own. :-/ Keep writing, as I found that was the best medicine for me and allow yourself to feel all the emotions involved as it will only make you stronger and smarter!! :-) *kb*

Slightly Disorganized said...

WOW. I sound like an asshole. I promise I love you, I just *HATE* him.


She Likes Purple said...

Okay, I am the biggest fan of sad songs and I probably shouldn't contribute to your playlist, but listen to Train's Lincoln Avenue.

Michelle said...

Friends who can be that honest with you are totally underrated. I'm glad you have some!!!

I've been thinking about you and my last breakup--when I was even waking up with a lump in my throat. It sucked really bad. Every quiet moment was another one just waiting to be filled with my own stupid tears. I'm imagining that's how bad it is for you too.

If it makes you feel better, two weeks after that breakup, I met my husband. (Although I didn't know he would be my husband, in fact, I told his friend I would "NEVER. DATE. HIM. EVER." It took me a year and a half to change my mind.)

So, I'm pulling for you. Good things are around the corner! And won't you just appreciate them even more now!

mcgee said...

i have to say i don't usually listen to country so i don't know a lot of these songs...i'll have to go check them out.

Erica said...

OK, it's time for some tough love.

Step One - Take down the count down. Do you really want to see that every single day?

Step Two - Take the pictures out of your cube. Again, do you really want to see that every single day?

Step Three - Find that apartment. Even if you're not "in love" with it. It's better than what you are doing now!

Step Four - Try talking about other things in your blogs. You may think it helps to talk about it/him, but really it's just prolonging it

Step Five - Stop having sex!

Step Six - Drink a bottle of wine, have a good hard cry, pick yourself up, dust yourself off

Step Seven - Repeat step six

Step Eight - Come to terms with the break-up. Realize that he's just not the one. Although, it may feel like

he should be or he was or you want him to be…he's just not.

Step Nine - Realize there is someone out there for you.

Step Ten - Repeat steps Six and Seven

Bonus step - Wash that boy right out of your hair. Have you even seen that commercial?

alyndabear said...

I always used "You Know What" by Craig David as an old breakup song.. it was strangely appealing at the time.

Slightly Disorganized said...

Erica is a girl after my own heart. (I am the asshole who dealt out the tough love of the gchat conversation above.)

Although I suspect Erica's wisdom comes from the same place as mine, having gone through those steps herself.

There's a whole world out there waiting for you. It will still be there, if you need a few more days (or weeks) to be a sad pathetic little puddle on the floor. (having been said puddle I know.) But hopefully, with the help of good friends you will be able to do this sooner rather than later. And just think, the sooner you stop being sad, the sooner you can meet someone you really like who will really, truly cherish you in the way that you want and need a man to do. What you really need though is to break the cycle and get out of his house. That is the first step. We're all about no unnecessary pain here, and going home to the man who who sucks so much is just that. Unnecessary pain. So here's to your own apartment, and getting through this, certainly not un-scathed but stronger and better than the woman you were before you met the Clancestigator.

We'll be waiting, with cocktails.

Lisa said...

"Forget About The Boy" from the musical Thoroughly Modern Millie. Do you know the song? If not, I'll send it to you.

Julie Q said...

rock out to some fiona apple. perfect for breakups. Sad, yet a little bit of kick ass-you-don't-need-him blah blah blah.

or shut off your iPod and don't listen to anything, read a book instead. (that will get your mind off of him). Hope you're starting to feel a little better michelle :)

libby said...

i need more exposure to country! so i've gotta check out these songs too.

Clink said...

There is SO someone out there, waiting for your gorgeous, rockstar ass.

Small fights and all.

DG said...

Another Lonely Day by Ben Harper is my FAVORITE sappy song. It always gives me chills.

Princess Pointful said...

Agreed with dg about that song. I saw him play it live, just him and his guitar, and I nearly passed out.

Be careful with the Ben Harper, though. I think I already told you how I listened to him the day of my giant break-up. Only one song of his at a time :).

I'm glad you can find the humour in all this.

L Sass said...

Thank god for "mood" music.

Hang in there.

QueenBee said...

Once when my heart was shattered, I was semi-over it (or so I thought) and Michelle Branch came on Are you Happy now? (I think) and I just screamed the words while driving. It made me feel so awesome.

ana said...

I'm not so much of a country girl, but I'm definitely gonna check them out....

You are doing great though, and I'm sure something wonderful awaits beyond the bend in the road....

stilettoheights said...

the new Garth song literally tears out a piece of my soul every time I hear it, it's just beautiful. I hope you are hanging in there.

blogging said...

awesome playlist. and so are you.

speaking of music, you need to download the cd wild hope by mandy moore. i'm so not kidding.

hugs my lady, and have a great weekend!!!! i'm so sorry i've been MIA, but i am backkk now~!

xo, bb

Samantha said...

just wanted to give you a {hug} for what you are going through and i'm glad you are able to vent and get it out on your blog

Angela said...

Keep hanging in there little lady--and follow those steps Erica laid out! Those are awesomely wise!

deanna said...

Hey I just found your blog today! I like it, it's really cool. How did you design the template? I'm a graphic designer as well and I tried to modify an existing template and I think it looks like crap. It looks good on a pc but not a mac. I would love it if u can give me some tips. Thanks!

Ashley said...

Sounds like you are getting better every day :-) Keep your chin up and keep laughing! Laughter is, after all, the best medicine!

Princess Extraordinaire said...

You are definitely healing as you are able to laugh at your own insanity - we all go through it and I just want to hug you for being so open and honest with your playlist!

Ashlie said...

This may be cliche and/or not what you want to hear but I PROMISE but someday you will look back on this and thank God. Not for the hurt, but for the opportunity to grow and meet your future love. Or like my husband and I, to grow apart before we came back toghether.
Don't forget how funny, smart and beautiful you are!!! (If I can tell all this just by your website than it must be amazing in person ;)...

Peter DeWolf said...

My father is a huge Janis Joplin fan, so I think it is somehow in my DNA.

I love the crap out of that song.

Gisela said...

One day you will wonder why they play so many depressing love songs on the radio...enjoy it while it lasts!