Monday, September 10, 2007

Just Call Me A Sucker

School is back in session, so guess what that means? Fundraising. All those little kiddies going door to door sporting their puppy dog eyes and pursed bottom lips. Ringing your doorbell wanting you to spend your hard earned cash on candles, wrapping paper and of course, food.

I tend to have a problem turning these kids away. Candy bars? Sure! I'll take 100. 10% off at all my favorite local shops? Sign me up! I mean really, whoever thought up the idea to send their students door to door to raise money for after-school programs was a genius. Because really, what kind of horrible person would you be to slam the door in their precious faces?!

It's Friday night, Clancy and I are eating dinner (in the living room watching TV because who uses the kitchen table nowadays?). The doorbell rings and he looks at me as if to say "Well, I'm in my boxers so you'll have to get it." I open the door and there are two little girls standing on my front porch clip boards in hand. I'm thinking to myself "Oh shit this is going to cost me."

I shut the door behind me to shield them from the barking dogs and they begin their speech. I flip through the catalogues (yes plural) and tell them sure I'll buy a cheesecake (my weakness!), let me grab my checkbook. I come back and am asked "Which one of us are you going to buy from?" Yes, they were going to make me choose. Are you kidding? They were basically asking me to rip one of their little hearts out and stomp on it. I tell them why don't they take turns with sales, because there is no way I'm going to buy MORE. That seems to be a reasonable answer and they happily walk away with a check for $18. FOR A CHEESECAKE.

I know Clancy won't say anything about me buying from the kids, because he is the same way. Between the two of us we've probably forked over close to $100 on fundraisers so far this year. It's like the kids we bought from a few weeks ago spread the word about the new people on the block. I can hear the conversations in the lunch room now:

"Seriously guys they can't say no. Just make sure to go in groups so they'll buy from everyone!".

"Which house was it again?"

"The one that was empty forever. Where those mean people used to live." (that's really what the little girls said when I asked if they would remember which house it was)

Yes, I'm a sucker. I'll admit it. But I will have a delicious strawberry swirl cheesecake to show for it.


La said...

Stories like these make me super happy that we don't have a working doorbell. There's no WAY I'd be able to say no. Sorta like when my niece is selling Girl Scout cookies, and I'm gluten-intolerant and I can't even eat them, but I still buy a truckload anyway. :)

kwarterlifecrisis said...

Aww! Good thinking on the taking turns thing. I'm kind of a sucker too. In fact, last night I just bought two more magazine subscriptions (to add to the whopping 11 I have already) for a fundraiser. Damn those adorable children.

Also, I love the new masthead!

KAS said...

i usually hide and make my husband answer the door. i was suckered into $18 popcorn once -- and it was bad!

libby said...

yummmm...i luuurve cheesecake!!!!!!

cdp said...

Second, Libby. I lurve cheesecake too. Yumsters. Also, can I just have a mommy moment and say that my children's after school program is the only reason I'll have a law degree come May? They make sure the homework is done, they have a nutritious snack, and they run around like fools so they expend plenty of energy and get some exercise too. It's so nice to know those programs are there; it's WAY better than latch-key kids and for people like me, whose kids are just to little to be latch-key kids, after school programs allow us to be out in the world doing what we need to do.

That was a random soapbox that had nothing to do with our collective brokeness due to neighborhood children, nor with cheesecake. Sorry dude. I'm just saying, after school programs are a good cause. And cheesecake is the foodstuff of the gods.

Longest comment ever? {hangs head}

Princess Pointful said...

So hungry now.
Although the "which one of us will you buy from" thing is a little tricky... I bet someone taught them that!

rachel said...

this is one way i am totally cold-hearted. I think mainly because I'm used to kids of all ages trashing my house during the school year on a daily basis!

However, if a little kitten came to the door and asked me to buy a candy bar, I would buy 2 million. ;)

Michelle said...

La- I couldn't image not being able to eat Girl Scout cookies! I'm a sucker for those too! :)

KLC- I'm glad I said that, otherwise I would've had 2 cheesecakes (not that that would be the end of the world!) And thanks!

KAS- I'm hoping my cheesecake is better than your popcorn was!! Yikes.

Libby- I know, right?!

cdp- Stand on your soapbox tall and proud, girl! You are totally allowed to have tangents in my comments. No worries. I was a latchkey kid and I will totally do anything and everything so my kids don't have to be. And once you have your law degree you should totally come work at our firm! :)

pp- Good point! The whole scene was probably rehearsed!

Rach- Well I would be too if kids ruined my garden! And ditto with the kitten thing. I would adopt them all from the animal shelter if I could! And hello! Pet license plates- totally have them. And the extra $$ I pay goes to the animal shelters. TOTAL SUCKER.

blogging said...

dude, this post totally took me back to my elementary school fund raising days...i remember my friends and i naming houses like "the mean people" etc.

do you remember if you sold so much you would get prizes? like, a tootsie roll bank, or something like that? and the more you sold, the better prizes you got? no? just me? ok....

that was very sweet of you to buy the cheesecake. i would have too. :) xo, bb

Lisa said...

the more expensive the cheesecake, the more I seem to buy. SIGH

alyndabear said...

What a sweetie.. but that's a SUPER expensive cheesecake! Damn.

I can easily ignore the kiddies on my street though, they are rude, kick balls at cars and then expect me to buy their chocolates? Ha! Try again!

(Besides, I do enough fundraising with the kiddies at school, so I think that makes up for it. I'm not REALLY a scrooge.)

onebigholiday said...

Haha that is too funny but you are right, who could say no to cute little children!

...BeccaLynn said...

Wanna hear the worst thing in the world as far as giving little kids too much money for stuff. One time Drew gave a little girl that came to our door $10. FOR NOTHING. She asked for it (She was really cute), and he ponied up the dough. And the second he closed the door, he was like, "I bet she's gonna use it to go buy drugs or something."

Definitely. Drugs. An adorable 8 year old going around asking for drug money. We don't live in a poor complex, but the place next to us is. :-/

Also? Your animals. OH MY LAWD, adorable. I wish, wish, WISH we could have a dog, but, alas, we cannot. Even if we could it'd be a tiny little 15 pound dog.
I would like to see how we end up once we get a nice house with a yard. I wonder if I'll have a farm because I seriously love animals so much.

The Casual Perfectionist said...

How ironic that you post this! Our house got tagged last night by someone selling stuff, but it was our BABYSITTER. You can't say 'no' to the BABYSITTER.

Normally, I can avoid answering the door...but this was our BABYSITTER.

There are things you don't do as a new parent, and jeopardize the relationship you have with your babysitter is one of them! Like I had a choice!!

Ugh...she's in band AND gymnastics. Greeeeeat. I didn't buy a cheesecake, but there are some Éclairs and some kind of Butter Braid coming to my house in a couple short weeks.

Oh the price we pay to ensure an adult-only night out for sushi! ;)

~The Casual Perfectionist (.com)

DG said...

MMMMMMM, Cheesecake!

molly said...

Oh those girls were tricky!!! But you're such a nice person.

And we never use our dining room table either. :)