Tuesday, July 22, 2008

And So Are The Days Of My Life :: A Dating Update, As Promised, Part One

Many of my friends would describe my life right now as a soap opera. In other words, filled with drama. You know what I think? I have a lot of great stories to keep them entertained. What can I say, I like to think positively.

So you guys want to be filled in now don't you? We shall call this stage in my life "dating post-RollerCoaster-ex Round Two".

I don't know about you guys, but after a break up I tend to be a creature of habit. Calling someone I've dated before, feel comfortable enough to hang out with again. This time around it was FF. Do you remember him? Well, I reconnected with him shortly after my break-up. Even now, I find us sending texts back and forth every couple days. It's just a fun, flirty "relationship" that will never go anywhere. But it makes you feel good just to know someone thinks you're attractive. Especially after someone else just kicked your ass to the curb.

About a month went by before I was actually ready to start dating again. "Ready" might not be the right word, but that's what I'm going with. I went on a few first dates that crashed and burned. But they actually helped me get back on my feet and realize that I was ready to find someone I clicked with.

And that I did. On a first date with a rather adorable landscaper paramedic firefighter (yes-he-has-3-jobs) guy. We had plans for dinner. Conversation flowed rather well. I was really attracted to him (I could tell because I wouldn't shut up). When the check came he suggested a movie. I agreed. We ended up seeing one and getting in a round of mini-golf beforehand. It was a lot of fun. Effortless, really. I have never felt that comfortable with someone that quickly. When he put his hand on the small of my back or wrapped his arm around my waist, it felt... nice. A kiss ended the night and date #2 followed a few days later. Date #3 the following week and so on. He made time for me despite his busy schedule and I could tell he was really into me.

However, this guy I had such a nice connection with turned into The Critic. When visiting my place he criticized the color of my walls, the weeds growing around my patio, the (small) shoe pile by my back door, etc. Suddenly, it seemed like he didn't have anything nice to say. Phrases such as "I really like you" "Good morning beautiful" and "Do you miss me yet?" vanished into thin air. When you're dating someone new shouldn't the adorable I'm-trying-to-impress-you stage last a little longer than a few weeks? Thank god I read my dating manual, He's Just Not That Into You, and was able to call a spade a spade. There's nothing I can't stand more than a flake.

I really wish that great chemistry was a good enough reason to stick it out a little longer. Especially since you're always worried you'll never have that feeling again with someone new, so when you do, it's very reassuring. But you need something else to fall back on after over a month of (even casually) dating. After being so badly (i.e. recently) hurt by Roller Coaster ex, I was not willing to put my heart out on the line again for someone whose intentions I didn't fully trust. So I ended it before I went down the same path again.

I should have known after FF to never trust a man in uniform, but tell me, how can one resist?! If a guy ever tells me he's a firefighter again, I am going to have to politely excuse myself from the conversation. Why do they have to be so damn adorable?!


So, that is Part One of my recap but stay tuned! You definitely want to hear about the worst kisser in the history of the world...

37 comments:

Princess Pointful said...

Haha, you bet we want to hear about him!

Good on you for recognizing sooner rather than later that Firefighter guy was no good for you. No compromising, lady!!

Scotty said...

You know, there are guys that aren't critics that have worn a uniform..

maicymary said...

Hi bag guys always attract. To be on the safer side, always go for the laid back nice guys. They will treat you like a lady. You can visit www.tomydate.com. I visited it and now i am wiser.

Miss A said...

you have met the worlds worst kisser too?! I met him a couple years ago. eeew.

nancypearlwannabe said...

Oh, the UNIFORM. Gets me every time.

3carnations said...

No, no, NO! How can someone who sounded so right be so...Not.

Oh well. Looking forward to more stories. :)

rachel said...

dang! i'm sorry mr. firefighter didn't work out. but i'm proud of you for ending it before it got serious. you saw a big problem and you didn't waste time trying to fix it or make him someone else.

and yes, we definitely want to hear about the worst kisser in the world!!

lspoon said...

Oh jerks in disguise. i freaking hate that!

pessimisticredhead said...

Why are all firefighters so hot? Damn. Plus, they provide so many possibilities for double entendre sexual innuendo, with their poles and hoses and the like. Sigh.

Jess said...

That's so rude! Who criticizes those things, especially in the first flush of dating? I'm glad you were able to realize that it just wasn't working and end it before it got all complicated.

secretlysupergirl said...

What man criticizes the color of walls?! Especially that soon in a relationship? Good move to kick that one aside!!

distractedspunk said...

Hooray! You're alive!

Liz said...

Did we kiss the same guy then? B/c I'm pretty sure I've kissed the worst kisser in the history of the world.

Noelle said...

If you change some of the details of names and places and professions, I could have totally written this post. I love talking with my ex because he makes me feel good, but he keeps me from finding new guys. And then when I do find them, they have these strange things that keep them from being perfect, when they seemed so perfect at the beginning. So I call the ex again.

j*amy said...

great update! i wish i could have seen and acted on that "he-starts-turning-into-a-jerk-after-only-a-few-weeks" action with my last car-wreck BF...buuuut oh well. it's over now :) [and now have someone who still calls me beautiful after 6ish months...:)]

Passionista said...

Dating can be the best thing and sometimes the worst thing. You never know and it can be a rollercoaster in itself. The best thing is that you're taking your time and throwing yourself in, which could work really well. Good luck!

Yoda said...

Aha! Now all your facebook status messages make sense :-)

Elise said...

The uniform...so hard to resist. Even when you KNOW you should! Especially when you don't know you should :)

Can't wait for part II!

Katelin said...

yeah all that criticizing would have driven me nuts. good call to move on. and yes i can't wait for part 2 either :)

L Sass said...

Sounds like a good guy to get rid of, but what a disappointment. Good for you for seeing it for what it was so soon. People stay in relationships with Critics for YEARS - miserable!

grungedandy said...

Hey babe, sounds like your doing the right thing just having fun DON’T go looking for Mr Right! Right away, believe it or not he is out there and will turn up when your ready but also when you least expect it & NOT actually looking! This I can assure you as it has happened to me & to many of my friends it always happens when these circumstances come together. So just chill & enjoy it and I know you may not feel like it but this is going to be a good summer go out & have fun with the girl friends have some you time nothing more sexy than a confident woman!
Seeya hugya *G*

Paula said...

Man, I have to say I'm jealous - you've had more action in the two months you've been single than I've had in the five months I've been single!!! Hopefully the right man is out there for both of us - we'll find him eventually! :)

lifeaccordingtob said...

Great update!
Good luck and have fun :)

lifeaccordingtob said...

Great update!
Good luck and have fun :)

Tipp said...

How does someone do that after only knowing them a short time?

I don't even do that to my best friends who I have known for years!

Trish Ryan said...

You are brilliant and fabulous, and I'm sorry Mr. Firefighter w/three jobs turned out to be a jerk. You'll have that feeling again, fear not! And when it's right, he'll be adding his shoes to the pile by the door and all will be right with the world :)

Surfergrrl said...

oh that sucks!! it's always hard for me to remember how i ever got past those first few weeks in past relationships, but they seemed pretty easy..i think. i'm glad you noticed how he was pretty quickly. you do deserve better than that.

Kim said...

Bleh, that sucks. I'm with you though...damn those uniforms and the cute bodies that fill 'em.

Angela said...

Relationships aren't worth it if you aren't happy. If you're seeing a person who makes you second-guess yourself and the way you live, it's not meant to be. I think everyone has a perfect match (or maybe more than one) who loves you for YOU.

Andrea said...

OMG! I am so glad you dumped that guy! ugh! can't waut for part two...and hurry please! :D

Carmen Vargas said...

yay for you for dumping him. and you will find the one... i know you will..

ashley said...

Well I'm glad you called that off before it was too late. Good for you. :)

Phil said...

I've met two of the world's worst kissers. Yeah, not so much. Kudos for the foresight, that didn't sound like it was going anywhere good. WTF with the criticism? I get it all the time from my folks, so it's a must to keep it down in a relationship. Oy.

Allison M. said...

at least he wasn't a stage 4 clinger!

serious/silly/me said...

As far as the world's worst kisser goes, if the man in your story isn't named "Eduardo," I won't believe you. (Aren't Italians supposed to be good lovers?!!?? ICK!?!)

Susie said...

Ahhh I hate when you have the "omg I'm soooo attracted to you" feeling, but know they're not the one. Good for you for ending it before you got too into it!! Major points for that :)

Annie said...

Smart move with the FF. Obviously it wouldn't have worked, which is unfortunate, but hey, no need to drag things out! To make an extremely general stereotype, I've found men in uniform (aside from being irresistable) generally tend to notice detail. I think it's because they always have to notice the detail of their dress!