Friday, May 2, 2008

Michelle v. The Spawn Of Satan

My hate/hate relationship with the spawn of Satan (AKA the snooze button) has been documented before. It's no secret that every morning I see that damn alarm clock perched on my nightstand I want to smash it to pieces.

Today it was set for 6:15. And because I like to try to trick myself into thinking it's later than it is to in some way make myself leap out of bed when the alarm goes off, the clock is set 10 minutes fast. What time did I wake up? 7:00 (actually 6:50). UGH. I don't even remember hitting snooze. Not once. I swear the alarm clock is out to get me. It wants me to have flat, limp hair (that at least smells good) and wear an outfit that I threw together in about 5 minutes. Lunch today? Too bad, you'll have to get takeout.

Then there are days when I am completely aware of the buzzing, but justify hitting snooze anyway:

One day I wanted curly hair because I was going out later that night.
"Oh, I'll have time to curl it when I get home from work with the rollers."
Hit snooze.

Another day I had an outfit picked out that required ironing.
"Oh, I'll just throw on one of my suits instead."
Hit snooze.

"Thank god I took a shower last night."
Hit snooze. Multiple times.

Noticing a pattern? I am the queen of excuses just for another 10 minutes of sleep! I don't know why I torture myself because when I go back to sleep after my alarm goes off, when I wake up the second (or third or fourth) time I usually feel even more tired than before. And on top of that I tend to dream the most vivid, often violent dreams during those brief minutes of extra sleep. Normally, I never remember my dreams.

So, not only am I yawning on the way to work, without a packed lunch, sportin' hair that is so flat it looks like I ironed it, I am replaying my car crashing into a brick wall and exploding in fire over and over in my head.

Those are the days I turn on a little Jack Johnson, pop the sunroof and remember that my beloved car is doin' just fine. And so am I.

Sidenote: How classic was that last elevator scene on Grey's Anatomy last night? McDreamy, McSteamy, Meredith, Addison and the new girl. I was laughing my ass off. "Don't you wish you would've taken the stairs?"

54 comments:

Jess said...

I can't hit snooze because I just lie there for ten minutes, anxiously waiting for the moment when I know the alarm is going to go off again and ruin everything. For me it's worse than actually getting up.

Golightly said...

I'm not a snooze button person either but last night's Grey's was the funniest - and Callie stating she loves the p*nis. ROFL.

Kristen said...

i don't hit snooze ever because i'm slightly paranoid that the alarm won't go off again and i just lay there waiting for it anyway.

brandy said...

I can't hit snooze. I WANT to hit snooze, but I'm paranoid that by doing so, I will end up sleeping in and missing what I have to do. I wish I could live in a world where I let myself push it though- I suspect I would be less grumpy in the mornings.

Also? The elevator scene is what cinched my new appreciation for Grey's. I'm officially taking it off my 'meh' list of television shows. It was a big night!

Have a good weekend lady!

Annie said...

I use my cell phone as my alarm clock. Weird? Anyway, I sleep so heavily that I've definitely had phone conversations longer than 10 minutes that I've had no recollection of in the morning. Don't feel bad about missing the snooze!

penelope23 said...

I hit the snooze button this morning and I don't even remember my alarm going off or me hitting it. I hate it when it happens.

That scene was classic. But my favorite was the Cristina, Mere and Callie exchange.

Callie: Does anyone ever think you guys are a couple?
Mere: No, because we are whores who get drunken on tequilia
Cristina: Yeah, and then we either try to marry the man or try to kill ourselves.

Classic

lspoon said...

Miriam's alarm set for: 5:45 am.
Actual time Miriam got out of bed? 7:45 am.

What a great way to start a Friday! :)

Sara Jane said...

I am a snooze junkie as well. It was one of my New Years resolutions...then I gave it up for lent...I don't think I've been able to break the spawn either! I'm considering moving my alarm clock to the bathroom, or the other side of the room!

PS- I loved Greys last night too!

Nilsa S. said...

I never hit snooze. My fiance always hits snooze. The alarm clock is on my side of the bed. It's a tricky situation.

dreamgrrl said...

exact conversation this morning: "exactly how many times are you planning on hitting that?" "um, at least once more" (Me, after hitting snooze 4 times.) God, i ALWAYS lose to it.

MrsTwink said...

I can't snooze because of the reason you just said... I end up feeling even more tired.

So as soon as the alarm goes off, no matter how tired I am... I shoot straight out of bed and to the gym. :-)

I pick out my outfits and pack my lunch the previous night so I can sleep a little longer.

Donna said...

I use to purposely do things the night before so I didn't feel guilty hitting the snooze.

I had a cousin who was worse and actally put her (very loud) alarm in the hallway so she had to get out of bed, even to hit the snooze. I think it worked . . . most days.

nancypearlwannabe said...

I used to do the same thing, so I put the alarm clock on the other side of the room so that I HAD to get up out of bed to do it.

Of course, now the second the alarm goes off I am awake, never to fall back asleep again.

Deutlich said...

a) I HATE alarm clocks. Lately I haven't even bothered setting it

b) The elevator scene? That was what made the episode last night. I swear I almost fell out of bed from laughing.

Noelle said...

Putting my alarm clock across the room always worked really well for me. But then I broke my ankle, and it's still stiff in the morning, so I can't jump out of bed to reach the alarm.

The result is that I've become a snooze junkie, and it's killing me.

PrincessB said...

The snooze button is bad news for me too. And you do end up more tired.

LOVE Grey's! I like the part where Meredith talks about having sex with men like whores on tequila. Sooo funny!

Passionista said...

I'm guilty of using the snooze! I got in today 45 minutes late :(

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA I love that you call is the "spawn of satan"

Angela said...

Jack Johnson days are my favorite. I have many of those, lol.

I always wonder how people like you can hit the snooze button so often. I wish I could do that sometimes. But for the most part, when my alarm clock goes off, I'm awake and up-and-at-'em.

freeandflawed said...

I laughed out loud when I saw Derek in the elevator with the three woman. Classic moment.

thecasualperfectionist.com said...

When I was in college, I moved my alarm clock so that I had to actually get up to turn it off. That really seemed to work. :)

Now, if I *really* have to get up, I use the alarm on my cell-phone. It's different enough that I notice it right away.

Have a great weekend!

Yoda said...

Haven't you heard? You snooze, you lose!


And Jack Johnson? BLEH!!

Hazel said...

I cannot hit the snooze button because I worry that it won't go off again and I'll sleep in and then really be in a rush. I'd rather sleep solidly through and just get up instead of get miny naps for 30 minutes.

Bry likes to do the snooze thing and it drives me insane because I wake up every time since I'm such a light sleeper and it disrupts the good sleep I would have gotten if I slept straight through! Grr.

Psychgrad said...

If I have to wake up early, I definitely need a good 5-6 snooze periods to actually muster the motivation to get out of bed. I've never had so much hate for an inanimate object before. I can relate to the justifications too. My thinking is usually "what's more important, sleeping another 9 minutes or smelling good?" Ah well...smelling good is over-rated.

L Sass said...

I have been abusing the snooze lately, too. How can we stop?

Oh well, who really needs a shower?

Carrie said...

I am the exact same way in the morning! I amaze myself with my time calculations while half-asleep. I've learned that I NEED to hit snooze at least a couple times, so I purposely set it early to allow myself time to ease out of sleep (or something like that). And I'm right there with you on the flat hair. :(

Larissa said...

I WISH my alarm had a snooze button.

Alexa said...

ha! i abuse the snooze way to much. sometimes i have to switch up my alarm sounds because i get so used to the sounds i hit snooze when im still sleeping... oops.

Katelin said...

Oh man I have mastered the snooze button too.

Christa said...

i totally do this same thing. (though i do recall you being far more violent than i am about it). for me it has gotten worse, since i make my own schedule and rarely have to be anyway at a specific time in the morning, the excuses are freakin endless. i do not no why i torture myself so therefore i don't know why you do it either ;)

greys anatomy was awesome, the elevator scene was clutch but my favorite phrase of the night "no, because we screw men like whores on tequilla." laughed my ass off.

janet said...

I am also sooooooooooo guilty of snooze button abuses. It's horrible. And lifelong. I can't quit it!

lfar said...

The elevator scene was GREAT! I've realized I love Addison a lot.

MLM said...

I am SOOO with you on the hitting snooze thing. Until I heard some "expert" say that unless you're going to get another 45 minutes of sleep (minimum), it's better for your body to just go ahead and get up. Actually, the expert was talking about what you should do if you accidently wake up BEFORE the alarm is set to go off...do you go back to sleep, or just get up? He said, "Get up unless you are guaranteed to get at least 45 minutes of uninterrupted sleep. If you don't, you will feel more tired than if you just got up early."

So, has his expert advice helped me stop hitting snooze? Not really. Now I just feel guilty while I'm "sleeping" for 4 extra minutes, knowing I'm gonna pay later. Oh well. :o)

amandabtv said...

I do the EXACT same thing, down to having my clock set 10 minutes fast so I think I can trick myself into getting up earlier, when in actuality, I just use it as an excuse to sleep an extra 10 minutes until it's the time my clock currently says it is. Sadly, I have no advice, only assurances that you are not alone.

Oh, and I loved all of Grey's last night due to my intense love of Addison. Why can't Private Practice get cancelled so she can come back :(

Wickedly Scarlett said...

Well, the good thing about this post and all of the comments is that I have at least discovered that I am not alone in my incessant snooze button slapping! The bad thing? That there doesn't seem to be a cure! I am just so envious of naturally perky morning people...

Miss A said...

I think we are behind in Grey's so I don't know what you're referring to!

Also, I actually put my alarm on the other side of my room so I actually have to get out of bed LOL

Miss A said...

I think we are behind in Grey's so I don't know what you're referring to!

Also, I actually put my alarm on the other side of my room so I actually have to get out of bed LOL

Meghan said...

I've boiled it down to an art, hit the snooze twice, sleep, then hit it once more and get up. So when the alarm goes off for the third time you don't feel bad cause you're already up :)

Skinny Girl said...

Baaahahahahahaha, this post could totally have been written about me. I also have those weird vivid dreams when between snoozes.
S X

chasinglibby said...

best scene ever!

also: i can never fall asleep in just the nine minutes snooze gives me. i lie there in a half conscious haze, with the alarm blaring instead. haha

ashley said...

The alarm hates me too. I seriously hate that thing. But don't we all?

Rachel said...

Too funny! I've never been a snooze person. I'm one of those people that never hit the button. I turn off my alarm when it goes off, lay down for about five minutes preparing myself to get up, then I hop out of bed. Always have...It's a surprise! Not many people I know do that, most hit the snooze button.

Vanessa said...

Snooze button=Spawn of Satan? Brilliant! I may have to borrow that one.

Jack Johnson? He makes my heart happy!

Andrea said...

I'm also a Snooze Queen. I'm also late for just about everything. Do you think these two facts are related?

Princess in Galoshes said...

I feel your pain, I really do. To take it to the next level, my husband sets a second alarm to go off AN HOUR before our regular alarm, the be-all-end-all of snoozing.

Paula said...

I'm a proud sufferer of snooze button syndrome - but the fact of the matter is, it doesn't matter how long you hit the snooze button for, it still KILLS to have to get up in the morning. I have flexi time in work and am able to start anytime between eight am and ten am. More often than not recently, I have been wandering into the office at five to ten. Snooze button syndrome...

A Margarita said...

Jack Johnson makes everything better :)

Eve said...

lol

I too hit the snooze many times. Yesterday, I accidentally set my alarm for 1:30 AM. "1" and "7" are pretty close, right?

Stacie said...

yeah, I have this great personality quirk as well. Mine is 20 minutes fast AND set 30 minutes before I REALLY have to get up...terrible.

said...

I SO KNOW HOW YOU FEEL!!!!!

I even put my alarm on the opposite side of the room so I'd have to actually GET UP to hit the snooze button...but no...I just SLEEPWALK to it now!!!

I don't even remember getting up half the time haha

pinksundrops said...

So I have a little remedy for you. At least for the flat hair. The snooze button and me have the same problem. I always take my showers in the evenings and take a 2 minute rinse in the mornings where I get my hair JUST wet enough to call it wet, but no more. I have a friend who uses a spray bottle instead, but I find that makes me cold. Then it takes less than 5 minutes to blow dry what normally takes 15-20 minutes to blow dry and I am out the door in less than 15 with fresh hair, and sometimes even full makeup. Sometimes I save that for the car.

elysa said...

the snooze button really is the devil. I have 3 alarms set in various locations around my room. That's how much I love waking up in the morning.

ps - Based on your posting frequency looks like you and I are in the same category of way too many things to do.

getdone said...

i give so many excuses as well. my bed is just so comfortable in the morning. kind of like sleeping on a cream puff. or something. so i usually get up about half an hour later than i originally intended. damn that snooze!

Therapeutic Ramblings said...

I love my bed, and my alarm clock and I are in a fight, permanently.