Monday, February 18, 2008

Things That Never Cross A Man's Mind*

*Inspired by Kellie Pickler's latest single. For entertainment purposes only ;)

Her skirt is too short.
Her jeans are too tight.
If she keeps flirting with me, it might ruin my night.

I have nothing to wear.
What do you think?
I really love that shirt, I wonder if it comes in pink.

I'm ditching the guys tonight.
Let's rent a chick flick.
I hated that action movie we saw, this time you pick.

I'm not in the mood for pizza.
We have way too much beer.
Let's order some salads instead, fewer calories dear.

I see your point.
I admit it you're right.
Let's just forget about it, and snuggle all night.

Who needs porn?
I hate dirty magazines.
Jessica Alba's ugly, and that baby's going to have her genes.

Does my butt look big in this?
I'm on my fifth diet.
I didn't get enough cardio in today - the elliptical, let's try it.

He has a nice ass.
I love how he does his hair.
I'll introduce him to my wife, they should have an affair.

I'm turning off the TV.
What's going on in your head?
Get it all off your chest, let's have a long talk tonight instead.

Feel free to add your own!


distractedspunk said...

I really miss her
She doesn't know the truth
I'm going to tell her though it might be uncouth.

JulyBug said...

You crack me up. I'm not even going to attempt a rhyme.

Miss A said...

Let's go shopping and then have lunch with your family!

Susie said...

Hahah you're fabulous.

Sports are on TV?
I don't even care.
I'd rather just sit with you and stare.

grungedandy said...

Ok here goes I’m c**p at spelling & rhyming

I’ll do the washing,
Give her a break
Maybe I should start flossing?

Yeh I know but I was trying to get it to rhyme!
Your way better at it than me!

Seeya Hugya *G*

thestoryofagirl said...

How cute was this! Very. ;-)

Julie Q said...

i love Kelly Pickler- did you see that picture as the bridesmaid in Katherine McPhee's wedding?

Annie said...

I'm not a huge fan of country, but I heard this song a month or so ago and couldn't stop laughing!

heidikins said...

It's still too early to rhyme, but this is absolutely hilarious! Love it!


Virginia said...

Hahaha this totally just brightened my day, because it is SO TRUE!! And I hope you feel better too...being sick is the pits.

survivingmyself said...

a rebuttal -

Things that never cross a girl's mind:

go ahead and watch the game, it's fine.
Or you can play a video game - either is divine!

we just have to have more sex, it's the right thing to do.
what about that hot girl on tv? You should do her too.

I'm not going to complain about anything today.
no nagging either, I know everything will turn out okay.

I'll be ready in 10 minutes flat from now on.
That habit of asking you a million questions about my clothes - gone!

Please, I'd rather not talk tonight.
Because although I act differently, I know everything you say is right.

ashley said...

Now lets do one for girls. This could be fun. :)

PrincessPolly said...

I loved this, absolutely brilliant! I think you covered everything I could think of though. Sometimes guys suck. :(

cdp said...

You know what? This whole thing WAS my fault. I should really apologize.

Carrie said...

brilliant. just brilliant.

I could add: get the 'skinny latte', not the full-treat
don't drink your calories, I'm watching what I eat.

Yoda said...

Things that don't cross a girl's mind.

Should I ask my boyfriend before I use his bathroom as a storage place for my feminine products?

NWO said...

Wow! A woman who understands me! You rock!!!

Ashley said...

You're hilarious.

I LOVE Kellie Pickler.
When she came to the studio a year ago, she was awesome. She came in sweatpants and a hoodie, then took off her shoes and got all comfortable. It made for a great interview!

dreamgrrl said...

this is great!! i wont even attempt a rhyme at this early time in the morning, but i love it all!

Jess said...

This is hilarious. Kellie Pickler is pretty funny too.

Katelin said...

Haha, what a cute song. As ditsy and ridiculous as Kellie is, she has some good songs I must say.

Trish Ryan said...

Great post--if I wasn't on cold meds, I might attempt to rhyme, but given my current state, I'll let your fine work stand unembelished :)

Princess Extraordinaire said...

Hmmm...I'm not so sure about the *nice ass* comment...(jk)

chasinglibby said...

AWESOME. with the rhymes and everything! love it!!

Princess Pointful said...

I'm too sleepy to rhyme.

"Actually, honey, I think you should try on your top 3 outfits, and I'll help you decide which is best, as well as how to accessorize!"

Rebecca said...

Actually, ever since I taught my husband the phrase "muffin top" - I am pretty sure he would notice too tight jeans.

DG said...

"I want to do the dishes tonight!!!"

TaraMetBlog said...

haha great list, very clever. I was going to add in the dishes comment too. How about

"Flowers are pretty, the dinner table would look so much better with fresh colorful flowers on it each week to cheer me up when I come home."

Ashlie said...

That was pretty cute! I'm not creative enough to come up with anything else. Bah!

Passionista said...

Great version! I totally agree, especially the last stanza.