Then & Now

Then: I enjoyed the comfort of living in my parents' home. The stability. The security. Being on my own was a very scary far-into-the-future thought.
Now: I couldn't imagine not having my independence. Taking care of myself and knowing I need not depend on anyone else is the most empowering feeling in the world.

Then: I kept everyone close to me at a safe [emotional] distance. I let my relationships float on the surface while all my emotions and feelings were hidden below.
Now: My friends and family are my closest confidants. They are people I trust, love and can have deep, meaningful conversations with.

Then: Meeting new people was intimidating. Large social situations were not my cup of tea to say the least.
Now: While I'm no social butterfly, I am not as afraid of being put in an unfamiliar social setting. Surprisingly, blogging has helped me with this the most. As well as my new found confidence.

Then: I let love define me. My relationships were my world. My be all, end all.
Now: I have learned to love myself. I know that the partner I choose to spend the rest of my life with will enhance what I already have, not define it.

Then: I had a hard time trusting people and taking their word as truth for fear of getting hurt.
Now: I know without trust, a relationship has nothing to stand on. I trust until given a reason not to. In my opinion, it's worth the risk.

Then: My uptight personality kept me from being carefree. I was afraid to travel. Afraid to try new things. Change was my bitter enemy.
Now: I feel like the possibilities are endless. I will only live one life, why not live it to the fullest?!

Then: I would have married my high school "sweetheart". I would have settled for less than I knew I deserved to have love (even unfulfilling love) in my life.
Now: I know I can make it on my own. I will not settle for anything less than butterflies. And of course, chemistry.

Then: I was heartbroken. Moved on with my life, found strength and a whole lot of confidence in myself.
Now: I still have that strength and confidence. I will hold on tight to those qualities and never let go. I am ready and willing to give our love another try. And excited about what is to come.