tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8959132334086483355.post4975973439688575958..comments2023-10-25T03:37:57.409-04:00Comments on Michelle & the City: My Ah-Ha MomentMichelle and the Cityhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02376890270664282390noreply@blogger.comBlogger51125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8959132334086483355.post-56388343008011299052007-12-30T22:38:00.000-05:002007-12-30T22:38:00.000-05:00Wow, that was a bit like reading a page out of my ...Wow, that was a bit like reading a page out of my old blog. I'm still wading through the repercussions of decades of anxiety-ridden family drama. I'm loads better than I was in the past.. but I have my moments. Part of it has to do with moving back in with my mother, who *just* finished a divorce this past August. I remember sitting up at night and just wishing on every star I could find that they'd divorce.. I'll begin to ramble if I don't stop here, but I'm sure I'll blog about it in the near future. Kudos to you for going with your gut instinct. It really IS the best way to go.Bhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17795526911040698284noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8959132334086483355.post-58735660895662823862007-12-30T17:18:00.000-05:002007-12-30T17:18:00.000-05:00Wow. But you know, don't be too hard on yourself. ...Wow. But you know, don't be too hard on yourself. I think it's natural to gloss over what seem like minor problems. It's deciding which problems are really minor and which are indicative of major deal breakers. Hard to do though.Evehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03438920506463041744noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8959132334086483355.post-82692634376594566962007-12-29T19:17:00.000-05:002007-12-29T19:17:00.000-05:00Amen.It is so great when you have those profound m...Amen.<BR/>It is so great when you have those profound moments of insight, and suddenly your whole life seems to make a lot more sense.<BR/>Even better when you can learn from it!Princess Pointfulhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10911296163218358167noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8959132334086483355.post-80691226073094383592007-12-29T01:16:00.000-05:002007-12-29T01:16:00.000-05:00'Here's to finding someone who has the same attitu...'Here's to finding someone who has the same attitude towards relationships. Forming a real, emotional bond with the person you love, and being able to tell each other anything without fear that the other will leave. I know he's out there'<BR/><BR/>high five michelle! great post :) sorry i haven't stopped by in so long, seems blogging went away with the end of uni... hope to chat again soon!sweetanemonehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14137873981310967277noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8959132334086483355.post-55127156278482975072007-12-28T14:44:00.000-05:002007-12-28T14:44:00.000-05:00You bet, sweet pea! Any man would be LUCKY to have...You bet, sweet pea! Any man would be LUCKY to have you as his girl. :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8959132334086483355.post-59307728275381489322007-12-28T14:19:00.000-05:002007-12-28T14:19:00.000-05:00Amen to that. I think we're all guilty of glossin...Amen to that. I think we're all guilty of glossing things over at one point or another, and it takes a real effort to deal with problems when they arise. But its also great that you realize that :)A Margaritahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10524571004013049683noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8959132334086483355.post-41701386203232804772007-12-28T09:03:00.000-05:002007-12-28T09:03:00.000-05:00Congrats on being Blog of the Week!Congrats on being Blog of the Week!longredcapehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06673694596820351948noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8959132334086483355.post-86565894572668437462007-12-28T07:40:00.000-05:002007-12-28T07:40:00.000-05:00i think i definitely need to read this book. after...i think i definitely need to read this book. after reading this post i've noticed that we are a lot alike because i do most of the things you talked about in my relationships. it's like i'm to scared to be alone or something that i ignore everything that wrong, even though in the end i'm still miserable. <BR/><BR/>good post, it's something that i've needed to hear!amanda raehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03450061348749009897noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8959132334086483355.post-60865011038601892152007-12-28T00:22:00.000-05:002007-12-28T00:22:00.000-05:00I, too, have a hard time accepting or dealing with...I, too, have a hard time accepting or dealing with the problems in my relationships. Now, I don't blog about that part of my relationship with AS very much simply out of respect for him, but I'm definitely the type to act like nothing happened the day (or 10 minutes) after a fight.<BR/><BR/>I need to work on this, too.L Sasshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09852624970958809824noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8959132334086483355.post-65822648879770621472007-12-27T23:17:00.000-05:002007-12-27T23:17:00.000-05:00And I am totally hoping things work out for the be...And I am totally hoping things work out for the best for you in 2008! You are a great girl and you deserve a great guy!erinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12727301257229287136noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8959132334086483355.post-80831332398596220612007-12-27T23:16:00.000-05:002007-12-27T23:16:00.000-05:00First, I think I need some recos on books from you...First, I think I need some recos on books from you. Secondly, I totally know where you are coming from. My family is like this (even now) and I know how much it impacts my relationships (with friends and with guys). We are very good at keeping things out of public view and keeping everything on the surface as you put it. It's all about work or a movie we saw or sports or whatever. We don't talk about the seriousness of my parents relationship (or lack thereof) even though everyone can see it. When it comes to my relationships, I have trouble being honest or acknowledging problems or just saying "I love you". Ok, I've commented enough. I think this deserves its own post on my own blog.erinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12727301257229287136noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8959132334086483355.post-69135187262222108132007-12-27T23:00:00.000-05:002007-12-27T23:00:00.000-05:00ps - you are 20SB blogger of the week! yayps - you are 20SB blogger of the week! yayelysahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01395699373559337834noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8959132334086483355.post-72028666876288014882007-12-27T22:32:00.000-05:002007-12-27T22:32:00.000-05:00You read the best books. That's totally my family ...You read the best books. That's totally my family too. If my mom does or says something that hurts me and I tell her, she gets mad and I get mad. We walk away and 20 minutes later pretend it never happened. But I'm still angry that she said it. And she'll totally say it again. And if you call her on not apologizing she gets REALLY mad. It's pretty terrible. <BR/><BR/>Man, I so wish I was brave enough to post about my personal love life related fears. Michelle, you're the bravest blogger out there.Lisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07850950399622401385noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8959132334086483355.post-85452109404335341172007-12-27T19:54:00.000-05:002007-12-27T19:54:00.000-05:00Seems like we've both had our"aha!" moments lately...Seems like we've both had our"aha!" moments lately. I'm so glad you're in such a great place right now, and I really admire you. This post was amazing. And you are my strength for moving on. Know that. :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8959132334086483355.post-27719765189308604952007-12-27T19:26:00.000-05:002007-12-27T19:26:00.000-05:00Very well written both on your part and the author...Very well written both on your part and the author's as well. I do think that the most important thing to get out of any break up is what will I change next time around. A lot of people like to think about change in a retrospective way, more of a "if I had done this maybe ..." but all in all the relationship ended for real reasons and it's important to figure out what you want to do differently in your next one. Here's to you finding that guy who is looking for the same in a relationship as you are!elysahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01395699373559337834noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8959132334086483355.post-68286735167992832552007-12-27T18:30:00.000-05:002007-12-27T18:30:00.000-05:00"That was how my family worked. My mother and I wo..."That was how my family worked. My mother and I would have a huge fight; door slamming, cursing, the whole bit, but the next day we would act like nothing happened even though deep down neither of us felt any better."<BR/><BR/>The same thing in my family - except sometimes it would go too far and one of us would slap the other. But then we'd pretend nothing happened. NOTHING HAPPENED. I don't want to be that adult and I struggle with it everyday. <BR/><BR/>Thanks Michelle :) I heartsandwich you.The Exhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02361762239371484451noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8959132334086483355.post-92063509673989964192007-12-27T18:27:00.000-05:002007-12-27T18:27:00.000-05:00Hey it takes a mature mind to realise that it take...Hey it takes a mature mind to realise that it takes 2 to make or break a relationship many people go through life brought up and expecting the “happily ever after” that we are taught in fairy tales to be how everything is support to be they don’t say - then Cinderella had children and went off sleeping with her prince or prince charming stayed out with his mates too often and got brewers droop or snow white found another prince charming at work or both the prince and princess worked too hard and just didn’t see enough of each other so they lost touch or try as hard as they could they couldn’t have children or that they hadn’t discussed having children and the prince wanted 5 where the princess didn’t want any! Or a hundred other things that happen to us all, we watch it on Dr Phil or Jerry or any of the other shows that get all those ratings!<BR/>It’s very difficult to take stock of what your feeling and actually sit down and say it out loud and deal with that gut knot you’ve got and not let it build into a booze filled fight about something stupid or have an affair as a cry for help or an easy way out.<BR/>It is also wise sometimes to realise when it’s just us with our insecurity and need to talk about just about everything and have just about everything analysed and when to leave a little to the imagination. We need balance those are the times when you talk to your girlfriends!<BR/>What I’m trying to say and probably not doing a very good job of it (I was on the naughty list this xmas and got flu) that you’ve made the right choice, that a relationship is an on going process where you have to both keep putting ingredients in to make it work, it’s not something that you ever say there it’s done!<BR/>Good luck, with the future search it’s only when you can see your patterns that you can break them, your much further ahead than I was it took me another 5 years before I realised this! And it’s not something you can really tell someone it’s something they have to realise for them selves, some people never get this!<BR/>Here’s for a better year next year 2008! Seeya hugya *G*<BR/>Ps sorry for the longness of the post, just want to say I’m so proud of how you’ve handled all this over the last year!grungedandyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13263866282662351546noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8959132334086483355.post-26197952420804777932007-12-27T18:11:00.000-05:002007-12-27T18:11:00.000-05:00Wow! I think I just had an Ah-Ha moment too.My fa...Wow! I think I just had an Ah-Ha moment too.<BR/><BR/>My family is the exact same way, and I know I put on "the perfect relationship" face with my now ex. I never realized I did it until about 5 months after we broke up.Tarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14963522275444772822noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8959132334086483355.post-35442671207048997732007-12-27T16:37:00.000-05:002007-12-27T16:37:00.000-05:00My parents split up about 7 years ago (right befor...My parents split up about 7 years ago (right before I went to college) and while people assume its easier for older kids to go through it- i definitely think it messed up my outlook on future relationships. Its tough, but you have a good head on your shoulders! Those two paragraphs were great btwJulie Qhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00875635439264990221noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8959132334086483355.post-48581330680054070182007-12-27T15:38:00.000-05:002007-12-27T15:38:00.000-05:00Sounds like regardless of the past, you've got a b...Sounds like regardless of the past, you've got a better idea of yourself for the future. You've accomplished so much!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8959132334086483355.post-86055561584530045372007-12-27T15:18:00.000-05:002007-12-27T15:18:00.000-05:00I had the same glossing over attitude as a result ...I had the same glossing over attitude as a result of being in my turbulent family situation. I keep things private and most of all don't stress the small stuff. But what I realized is my issues are not "small stuff" and the guy I'm with has to be able to deal with it! Otherwise, what is a good partner for? Here's to both of us finding that guy and good luck.Passionistahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01755255061066511814noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8959132334086483355.post-40230220757191353132007-12-27T14:16:00.000-05:002007-12-27T14:16:00.000-05:00I too could completely relate to the exerpt. It w...I too could completely relate to the exerpt. It wasn't until I met BHF that I understood that fighting didn't mean that we didn't love each other and that I didn't have to act perfect for him to love me unconditionally.<BR/><BR/>It took me a long time to realize and really understand but communication is everything. When I finally felt secure with myself and with us I could tell BHF all my thoughts without fear of what he would do or say. <BR/><BR/>You will find someone that feels the same way and you totally deserve him!sassafrashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03452519826561552924noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8959132334086483355.post-10806566325233519882007-12-27T13:26:00.000-05:002007-12-27T13:26:00.000-05:00He IS out there! And AMEN on listening to your gut...He IS out there! <BR/><BR/>And AMEN on listening to your gut. God gave us those for a reason, right? <BR/><BR/>xoxocdphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03493913149812589959noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8959132334086483355.post-30956399225694852222007-12-27T13:17:00.000-05:002007-12-27T13:17:00.000-05:00You rock! Look at you! Look how much you have grow...You rock! Look at you! Look how much you have grown in just the past few months. To take that book passage and realize how it fits into the bigger picture, especially when it comes to the relationships you're in, that is really impressive. And sure, hindsight is 20/20, but the fact that you recognize how you can apply it to future relationships is amazing. Really. I am so proud of you and I know you'll find that guy out there who is simply perfect for you!Virginiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03235645151961551423noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8959132334086483355.post-56065797938528857922007-12-27T13:07:00.000-05:002007-12-27T13:07:00.000-05:00I love this post. I love that you have decided to...I love this post. I love that you have decided to take a stand and change something that you recognize as not-the-most-healthy attitude. I love that you had the courage to recognize this and then to share it with all of us.<BR/><BR/>Love you girly,<BR/>xoxAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com